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Traditional / Old Fashioned Thinking

GPK26
10 months ago

As an older person with Autism, I was brought up in very different times with different thinking, values, acceptance, behaviour, etc (1970's & 80's).

The World has changed so much since then - both for better and worse.
There have been so many advancements - particularly in science and this has benefitted us ASD'ers immensely.

One thing that is troubling me is that I hold a lot of "principles" that in this day and age would be considered "Old Fashioned", "Traditional", maybe even "Bigotry" or worse.
There are things that I struggle to understand or accept which are based on my traditional attitude. I was brought up in an era when....

  • Boys had girlfriends and girls has boyfriends
  • You were born a boy and died a man
  • Men married women
  • Humour was not censored
  • People weren't "cancelled"

I openly discuss or rant about these topics along with some others that may be considered taboo with closed friends and family who have all become somewhat numb to my outrageousness / inappropriateness.

I have however managed to "behave" in public (stayed on the right side of the law), but occasionally do mutter things with a level of cowardice.
My concern is that now that I am officially autistic, the shackles of having to mask may have been broken and that has the potential of me saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Parents
  • 10 months ago

    GPK26 I am in the exact same situation. I grew up on a council estate in the 70'sand 80's, an estate full of white people like me. If I spoke my mind I would be considered a racist , bigoted, homaphobe, there are many like us when you dig down. I hate the woke agenda,  I have been made very angry by the pro Gaza marches this weekend, they do not reflect my values at all. You are not alone

  • 10 months ago in reply to NAS65321

    Hmmmm, I'm not 100% sure that we are on the same page here, let me try to explain.

    I grew up in the 70s and 80's, but in an armed forces environment (lots of moving around the country and postings to other countries).

    Back then racism, homophobia, etc existed, but they weren't challenged anywhere near the level that they would [rightfully] be challenged - in fact illegal in today's society.

    My OP was not about wanting to speak my own mind - let me break that down for all....
    I have not expressed a want or desire to speak in any way that would be considered unacceptable or illegal.
    I do not believe that my mind is such that I habour racist of homophobic beliefs - I may not necessarily agree with some things that are considered quite normal today, but I do not castigate those who are living their lives that way.

    I'm not sure exactly who or what groups you are referring to when you say that "there are many like us when you dig down". I would feel extremely uncomfortable to align myself to "us" without knowing exactly who "us" is/are.,

    On the other hand, I have a dislike (hate is a very strong and provocative word used in certain context) of what has been termed "woke agenda".
    I'm not comfortable with using the word "woke", instead I just see those that are typically targeted with that label as being different to me and my life experiences.

    I see a lot of things that I do not agree with and that just don't make [logical] sense to me, a couple of examples being

    • Just Stop Oil protesters who sit in the road, delaying traffic, antagonising the general public and [this is the big one]....are causing more pollution / damage to the environment because engines are sat there running longer than they would had there not been the disruption. That then leads to more fuel being needed, so they're effectively damaging their own cause. Not to mention the potential threat to life when emergency service vehicles are delayed.
    • The Pro Palestinian marches this weekend. Whilst people are free to protest (as long as they stay on the right side of the law), this weekend was probably not the best timing to conduct the protest. There is no surprise that the far right showed up (not that I am condoning the far right). Some of the protesters seemed to be there just for the sake of protesting and not having even basic knowledge of what has happened recently in Israel & Gaza. Shockingly, one young lady was not even aware of the atrocities committed by Hamas on 7th October.  

Reply
  • 10 months ago in reply to NAS65321

    Hmmmm, I'm not 100% sure that we are on the same page here, let me try to explain.

    I grew up in the 70s and 80's, but in an armed forces environment (lots of moving around the country and postings to other countries).

    Back then racism, homophobia, etc existed, but they weren't challenged anywhere near the level that they would [rightfully] be challenged - in fact illegal in today's society.

    My OP was not about wanting to speak my own mind - let me break that down for all....
    I have not expressed a want or desire to speak in any way that would be considered unacceptable or illegal.
    I do not believe that my mind is such that I habour racist of homophobic beliefs - I may not necessarily agree with some things that are considered quite normal today, but I do not castigate those who are living their lives that way.

    I'm not sure exactly who or what groups you are referring to when you say that "there are many like us when you dig down". I would feel extremely uncomfortable to align myself to "us" without knowing exactly who "us" is/are.,

    On the other hand, I have a dislike (hate is a very strong and provocative word used in certain context) of what has been termed "woke agenda".
    I'm not comfortable with using the word "woke", instead I just see those that are typically targeted with that label as being different to me and my life experiences.

    I see a lot of things that I do not agree with and that just don't make [logical] sense to me, a couple of examples being

    • Just Stop Oil protesters who sit in the road, delaying traffic, antagonising the general public and [this is the big one]....are causing more pollution / damage to the environment because engines are sat there running longer than they would had there not been the disruption. That then leads to more fuel being needed, so they're effectively damaging their own cause. Not to mention the potential threat to life when emergency service vehicles are delayed.
    • The Pro Palestinian marches this weekend. Whilst people are free to protest (as long as they stay on the right side of the law), this weekend was probably not the best timing to conduct the protest. There is no surprise that the far right showed up (not that I am condoning the far right). Some of the protesters seemed to be there just for the sake of protesting and not having even basic knowledge of what has happened recently in Israel & Gaza. Shockingly, one young lady was not even aware of the atrocities committed by Hamas on 7th October.  

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