Traditional / Old Fashioned Thinking

As an older person with Autism, I was brought up in very different times with different thinking, values, acceptance, behaviour, etc (1970's & 80's).

The World has changed so much since then - both for better and worse.
There have been so many advancements - particularly in science and this has benefitted us ASD'ers immensely.

One thing that is troubling me is that I hold a lot of "principles" that in this day and age would be considered "Old Fashioned", "Traditional", maybe even "Bigotry" or worse.
There are things that I struggle to understand or accept which are based on my traditional attitude. I was brought up in an era when....

  • Boys had girlfriends and girls has boyfriends
  • You were born a boy and died a man
  • Men married women
  • Humour was not censored
  • People weren't "cancelled"

I openly discuss or rant about these topics along with some others that may be considered taboo with closed friends and family who have all become somewhat numb to my outrageousness / inappropriateness.

I have however managed to "behave" in public (stayed on the right side of the law), but occasionally do mutter things with a level of cowardice.
My concern is that now that I am officially autistic, the shackles of having to mask may have been broken and that has the potential of me saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Parents
  • I don’t think having autism can be an excuse to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. It’s things like this that I feel give autism a really bad impression to people in a world where autistic people are already struggling to be understood.

    I struggle with change, I can say the wrong thing at the wrong time.. however I still fundamentally know what it right and wrong, and wouldn’t ever use my autism as an excuse to be a bigot or to say I was unable to make any changes to past beliefs. 

    The world is always changing… there certainly wasn’t a forum on the internet 20/30 years ago to discuss autism, yet you’ve managed to change and learn the skills to use the internet and a forum and use technology, so you can deal with change. So I don’t see how this is any different. Yes change can be difficult for autistic people but it is not impossible and should NEVER be used as excuse to speak hatred about other people. You’re just being picky about what changes you will and won’t fundamentally accept or be prepared to make.

    if you know that your way of thinking (whether it’s developed from the past or not) is not acceptable in todays society, then do better. 

    thank god we live in a country where people can love who they want to love, can be free to express who they are and are not internally tormented for who they were born to be. Imagine being told that something, just like your autism, that you had no control over and was born with, is being used as a reason for others to judge you, condemn your way of living, to not agree with you and your existence.

    the fact that you have admitted to saying things ‘muttered’ and have put the word behave in quote marks would suggest that fundamentally you actually still hold the bigoted beliefs that you grew up with. I feel really sad for you that you are not prepared to accept people for who they are and question who they were born to be.

    I am also in the LGBTQIA+ community, so I imagine you may also feel that my viewpoint on the whole matter is somewhat biased. 

    But i simply cannot understand and never will understand how who someone loves, how they choose to dress or act, what they look like or who they feel they really are has any impact on anyone else and why this would be an issue or problem for anybody else. I literally couldn’t care less who someone identifies as.. I just wish that person could live in a world without hatred, self hatred, judgement and bigotry. 

  • I don’t think having autism can be an excuse to say the wrong thing at the wrong time

    I have to say that personally I think that’s the kind of thinking that leads to 16-year-old autistic girls being manhandled by six policeman for saying that someone looks like their lesbian Nana.

    ‘autism should never be an excuse’ sounds very nice to some people until we have to deal with the practicalities of a real world and social ambiguities.

  • ‘autism should never be an excuse’ sounds very nice to some people until we have to deal with the practicalities of a real world and social ambiguities.

    THIS!

    Whilst I appreciate that many autistic people avoid the social outside world, there is a real world out there.
    Sometimes (a lot of the time) it is a big scary world that even NT's struggle with at times where things can and often are unpredictable. Some of us have significantly more exposure to and experience of that big bad world where all good intentions can simply fly out of the window.

  • in your OP you say that you hold views that are taboo.  Are you now saying that the views are taboo but that the majority hold them?  If the majority hold the views then what are you complaining about?

  • and why can you say what you want?

    what if i said your words right there are majorly offensive and requires police action but you didnt know that because you wasnt aware of the every tightening social restrictions in society?

    who is to be judge jury and executioner? dictator of all words said or thought?

  • is it bad that most people in society disagree with your views?

    or if everyone agrees with your views does that make your neurotypical?

    this leaves alot of questions open...

  • I can, but it's too controversial a concept, and I'm not going to spend enough time here providing evidence and counter argument to support the proposition I'd be making.

    GPK26 seems to be holding his own against multiple adversaries well enough.

    The mods will step in and regulate the thread in what seems to be a very considered and even handed manner if it gets outright nasty. 

    But there definitely is a reason why in the real world, considered as a totality with all points of view represented, GPK26 is (thankfully) still a member of a vast majority known as right thinking human beings.

  • Theres a difference between accidentally saying something offensive due to your autism vs feeling like you can say what ever you want because "oh I have autism so I cant control it"

Reply Children
  • and why can you say what you want?

    what if i said your words right there are majorly offensive and requires police action but you didnt know that because you wasnt aware of the every tightening social restrictions in society?

    who is to be judge jury and executioner? dictator of all words said or thought?