Loss of masking

Tonight I went out with work colleagues for drinks and dinner. This was my first “night out” in a very long time indeed (at least a year).

I knew all the people well except for the partner of one of my colleagues, who I hadn’t met before.

But I was completely unable to mask, despite having done so for years. I was stiff and formal and weird, not the person I would normally be in this situation. So much so that my colleague’s partner seemed to almost take things in hand to look after me. I honestly felt she realised I was autistic and was lovely about it.

But I’m quite distressed at my complete loss of masking. Is this because I haven’t been out for a long time? Because I’ve now had my diagnosis and have changed as a result?

Have any of you experienced a complete loss of masking like this?

Parents
  • God!!!! you had a positive reaction from someone that had not met you before. Did she know you are autistic? (-and, not sure that your regular mates are aware of your autism??). You are in a good position mate. I don`t quite know what your issue is with???.....I have masked so long that I am not sure how to do other than!!

  • Only one of the people there knew I was autistic (as far as I know!) but I’ve been masking in social situations for so many years that I felt almost naked and disabled tonight. I just could not mask.

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