Published on 12, July, 2020
I went to my first concert in August 2022 - Westlife at Wembley Stadium. A choice for my first concert but I intended to make a day of it in London and meet friends (which didn't go to plan).
I've just come back from my second concert - JLS at the Birmingham Utilita Arena. Very different circumstances from the last one; no friends and my confidence level is as low as it can be. I did wear my sunflower lanyard this time.
I think in both cases the fear of judgement got the better of me. I was able to bob side to side, clap and mouth along to the song but I didn't let myself dance.
Getting caught up in those big crowds when leaving was hard - it's this part I wish I had someone with me for. Also walking through town on my own at night - I can appreciate how scary it can be for women/femme people.
I know I can do it but I think just for my own safety and comfort I'd prefer people with me.
I remember when I was 18, I had to go for this job assessment day thing. I had to wear a suit, make notes about sales, and it was like a 12 hour day. Came home and was pretty upset, insisting that I have someone with me next time I have to go for a job interview or something.
I'm mixed with it. I don't always need company, but I know now the value of it. I'm awkward enough on my own, it's worse when I've got more to think about.
Yeah, just in a reflective mood. I'm glad I did it though, it was nice to have my annual night out (!).
I've been to many concerts over the years - once on my own.I'm a Muse fan and went to see them at Wembley Arena with my wife years ago. The gig was so good that I bought a ticket for the following night (my wife didn't want to go again).
Yes, the second night (on my own) was a bit different in both good and bad ways. I was alone - nobody that I know to share that experience with. On the plus side, I didn't need to worry about anyone else.
Going slight off topic, the last gig I went to was Muse at Milton Keynes bowl (terrible venue).I went with my daughter (27) and was getting so anxious in the days leading up to the. My biggest concern was getting there and back. Whilst MK is only about 20 miles away, the venue is a pain to get to and there going to be a lot of road closures around the venue.
Even on the morning on the gig I wasn't sure that I could manage it. My daughter's partner was taking us and picking us up. We had plan A, plan B and plan C! At the end of the night we had to come up with plan D!
We stood quite far back, away from the crowds (although usually I don't mind getting nearer the front). The biggest downer was when I went to get something to eat. The queues were insane. I missed all of Royal Bloods set, could hear them but they were out of sight. I queued for 1 hour! for a couple of trays of stupidly priced loaded fries. I was getting so anxious about how much longer would it take as well as worrying about my daughter as I'd left her watching the concert. I managed to survive the queue, but was very close to meltdown a couple of times - took a lot of strength and resolve to get through it.
I've tried going to many things over the years (although I don't think I've ever seen Muse unless it was in their early days and I don't remember e.g. I see now that they're from Teignmouth, Devon and formed in 1994 when I was living in that area) but with hindsight it was all 'too much' for me really. Therefore I've tended to approach it all over the years as like 'going to war' (as that's what it's all been like for me I see now and coincidentally I have a lot of military influence in my family history all round). I went alone to see Therapy? live (funnily enough I'd never actually had any therapy treatment at that time and went on to have a lot in my future) at Exeter University in 1994. I was in the mosh pit area and realised I needed to take a leak but was struggling to get out of the crowd/action so used my initiative and asked people around me to crowdsurf me onto the stage. They did so and I was escorted away to use the toilet and was permitted to return to the crowd afterwards #GoodTeamwork (sort of). The next day with my fellow students in the Devon area I was quite proud of the black eye I'd picked up during the crowdsurfing activity.
Love the bit about the crowd surfing - great story
I was thinking today when joining in on another conversation here with a The Smiths fan that I was into the Madchester scene at the time (leading up to going to see Therapy? in 1994) so I see now there was a theme developing there...