Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, it's been awhile since I was last here.
My work has been going nicely, I work in an office with three others which is stressful as they make small task and one girl keeps having loud phone calls with her friends several times a day.
But I'm coping, you know, actually coping. I feel good in myself, I haven't been like that for some time. But one thing that does stress me out is work meetings, they take place three or four times a month, give or take..... I really struggle with these because there's a lot of people and sometimes I have to talk and I find it so uncomfortable because everyone's watching me and listening, I almost feel their eyes burning in to me.
But it's good, I'm working and at the moment I'm doing well. I worry it won't last but I think it's just anxiety.
Hi Fantasy,
Thanks for your post. I also find this situation uncomfortable in my line of work. I don't mind if I have to present something because I will have time to prepare and organise my thoughts, but if someone asks me a question out of the blue or something I've not had time to think about then I will feel really stressed and flustered and often get my words all muddled, etc.
Have you told your work that you have autism? I found that by explaining my diagnosis to my manager and then explaining the best way to communicate with me really helped. This means we prepare better before things happen and there are fewer 'surprises'.
Good luck and well done for doing so well at work in general!
Like Iain says - I'd plan for the meeting in advance - usually I write some bullets of what I'm going to say and I have a page in OneNote where I try to write things down as I think of them rather than have specific planning time for the meeting (although I sometimes do that too). I have a few stock answers in my locker like 'Let me think about that and I'll get back to you'. I also tend to take notes during a meeting, so I can refer back to it later or ask questions to clarify. If it's a virtual meeting I prefer having my camera off and if others are using camera then I'll put it on when speaking.
I'm also getting better at asking people for an agenda, as this helps me prepare for the meeting.
I get what you say about work meetings and public speaking - I used to hate them but when I moved into management about 15 years ago it kind of became 50% of my job so I had to find a way to deal with it.
when you think about it, public talking in meetings is typically one of the places where you can "script" your responses to know what is expected of you and how you are going to say it, so it plays to one of our autistic strengths
I would suggest working on this so you can practice what to say the day before and in the meeting keep your focus on one person or place in the meeting environment rathe than thinking of the people there (maybe even envisage that they are not present). Keep the flow of words steady and practiced and try to make your report as simple as you can get away with it.
Don't try to excel, just do what is needed and save your energy for other things.
It does get better with practice.