Published on 12, July, 2020
I don't know if this is an autistic experience or something else.
I could be going about my day, minding my own business, and suddenly I'm reminded of a horrible thing someone said to me or a really bad mistake that I made. Suddenly it completely takes me off track.
It alters my mood almost instantly, and I didn't even choose to think about that thing. It just popped into my head, and it won't leave for a while.
Sort of related: I did a few diagnostic tests for OCD and I scored quite highly on all of them.
Same - sometimes I think about bad social interactions when I'm working and it fills me with horror. I don't know why.
It happens at random points and it just brings back all the insecurities.
It makes you feel embarrassed to exist if you let it.
I definitely tend to let it. I'm like "what am I doing here? I'd rather not be here"
I feel I have zero control.