Will I ever figure out how to human?

Hi there,

I am 31, I have a demanding job, a 7 y o son, a husband. I am not diagnosed with autism but at this point I feel there is not one person I ever met who understands my struggles. I feel like an alien and I guess need to know are there aliens like me. And if there are, did you figure it out? I don't even know if I am in the right place but can anyone relate to this:

What I am struggling most with:

• Knowing when what I say or do hurts someone. Until the age of 25 I thought that if something doesn’t hurt me then it cannot hurt someone else, same if I like something everyone else experiences it the same way. But I had repeated complaints to HR at work as well as my friends and close people out of nothing being offended with something and me not even noticing that they were offended until they literally told me this. I went to a therapist with that. When my therapist told me that people can experience things differently from me this was a game changer - I thought now I can figure it out, now that if someone tells me that I did something wrong then they can just tell me what happened as an example I will not do this again. The problem is people rarely can give an example rather talk in concepts which I do not understand and cannot use and if they do give an example they expect that I can extrapolate this example to situations which are very very different in my eyes. It feels like an infinite amount of unique situations where if I find one clue it does not bring me any closer to figuring out the next one.

• Knowing how to act in new social situations. If I never was in a situation before or never got a certain reaction before there is 50% chance only I can respond appropriately. 
• Being overstimulated: large social gathering, loud environments, repetitive noises, touch from strangers - at first I become jumpy and irritable, then is becomes torture. Type of pain there is no word for.Then if the stimulation persists or if i have to endure it then even after it is done i squeeze into a wall with my body, close my ears, look at one spot. Sometimes I lose my voice after that and cannot speak for a few hours.
• I have a lot of food aversions and in the moments of stress I stop eating.
• Being misunderstood when I do everything in my power to make other people feel good, but they never notice
• People want me to say things in an emotional or exaggerated way when I have to praise them for something, but I cannot on command get excited.
• Depressive episodes
• People interpret what I say based on my facial expression and intonation and not based on the meaning of my words. And when they say things they don’t actually mean what they are saying. And I do not understand it.
• I have a very hard time lying but I am very easily tricked

What others tell how they experience me (these thighs have been said repeatedly by different people) and I do not understand why.

• You never initiate physical touch or intimacy, at the same time you need and expect it
• Your arguments are too good, I cannot argue with you
• You my friend but you are never on my side, you are always on your side
• You never praise me or never show affection
• You are very calm and quiet
• I have a good sense of humor but sometimes i do not get jokes or figure of speech, Like me asking someone why do you have to books for accounting and they say well one white and one black and I answer that they both are black (meaning the color)

Things I have under control and I learned to do even though I don’t feel like doing them but I know they are important:

• Eye contact and friendly physical touch. 
• Asking another person questions.
• Trying to not interrupt
• Showing affection and sympathy
• Allow a possibility of another person being right if they are able to provide arguments
• Rereading every word I write and thinking 10 times before saying anything

I just need to know that it gets better because I am at 100% capacity trying my best and still failing.

Liza