Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
Over the past 18 months or so, my wife and myself have come to the conclusion that I could well be on the Autistic spectrum. My wife had a slight suspicion prior, but after I had a heart attack last year, it became more apparent, probably due to me being far too tired to keep masking as I was recovering.
We analysed my meltdowns / shutdowns (as we guess they are now and not just me going off on one), triggers, my aversion to noises (I can hear the hum of lights, fridge, electrical equipment etc. and always thought it was strange that I couldn't filter it out), dislike of bright lights (including sitting in the sun for any length of time) amongst quite a few other things and me being a thoroughly anti-social git (a lot of meltdowns always happened prior to going out to a social function, holiday with friends etc).
This analysis led us to the conclusion and has helped up change things lifestyle wise and house wise to help me.
I've also been told by a Psychologist that it does sound like I am, but they don't have the qualification / ability to diagnose me and the NHS authority don't deal with adult diagnosis, so it looks like a private route would be needed.
Although I'm only at the start of trying to determine whether I should get an official / medical diagnosis, I'm just wondering if people my age (nearing mid 50's) do ever get diagnosed and what, if any, advantages does the diagnosis have, aside from peace of mind and an understanding of why I am like I am?
Thanks.
I am 53 and awaiting an assment since 2020, should be in the next few months, I hope. For me its knowing what my enemy really is. Lost both parents since 2020 and along with Covid it has been massivley hard. Coming out the other side and have a plan to change our life in the next 18 months, move to a cheaper area and get a basic job. I have given myself much less of a hard time to do things I don't want to. My wife now knows how difficult going to parties are etc and now doesn't ask, I am fine for her to go on her own. I always give my self a self car day at each weekend with one really relaxing day.
My wife usually attends functions on her own, it’s so much better now, there isn’t the days of ‘radio silence’ and anxiety from me leading up to an event, there’s more of an understanding now that’s it’s not that I won’t go, it’s I can’t go. I don’t work on Mondays anymore, the house is empty of people and I can just recharge, I never realised how important it was before.
I can relate to the radio silence and anxiety leading up to an event - my wife now understands why I'm like I am (we both thought that I was just really unsociable - I am) and she's now aware of why I can go very quiet in such situations and will talk me through what's going to happen, where we'll go etc. In addition to that, she'll also set timescales - decide after 1 hour if I want to leave, then check again in 2 hours etc.
I'm lucky (well, I think I am) as I work from home permanently, so I don't have to be around people all day and I can shut my laptop down if it's all becoming too much.