Has anyone had a diagnosis in their 50's?

Hi Wheeky, I'm another late one. 48 and having my first assessment on Tuesday. I decided to get a loan and go private because the NHS waiting list is so long (3-5 years in my area) and I feel that I am in limbo at the moment and I need certainty. For me, I'm not expecting the diagnosis to bring any particular advantages other than, as you say, peace of mind and understanding. I guess I'm also hoping for increased understanding from other people, but I'm not sure if I'll get this or increased alienation - not sure which way disclosing my autism will go...

I have just been diagnosed and I am mid 40s. It has helped make sense of how I have dealt with situations in the past, which I can now forgive myself for as I have the 'reason' as to why things happened the way they did that I had never been able to get over. Moving forward now is my biggest challenge with what I do with this information. I went private as I am not a patient person and knew there would be a long wait on the NHS.

I got diagnosed in 2018 at the age of 53.  When I am stressed and aware of ‘that which is ASD within’  I can relax instead of trying to change the unchangeable.  I am grateful for where I am free, but also for knowing where I don’t have to be free.

Thanks for all the replies - sorry about not replying sooner.

I'm terrible with things like communication - I'll avoid replying for a little while and then get worried that I'll have to reply to everyone and that makes it even harder to start a reply.

It's good to know, though, that people are getting diagnosed a lot later in life and that some people aren't going for a diagnosis at all and just knowing is enough.

I'm still undecided about going for a diagnosis as it'll have to be private and although I apparently have private healthcare at work, they don't cover assessment such as this, which is a great help. Work are aware that I do have issues, but I'm reluctant at the minute to tell them what is suspected as it's not 'official'.

I'm going to have to dedicate some time to looking through the forums and the NAS website (I was given the link by the Psychologist) and see if I can start to learn as much as I can.

Unfortunately, I do have a load of questions, like is my head supposed to have so much in it at any one time and am I the only one who can hear that little rattling noise every time I press a key on my laptop. One thing that I'm trying to figure out is that flashing lights don't make a noise for everyone - I always though they made a noise in everyones head like mine!

Thanks!

I can relate to the radio silence and anxiety leading up to an event - my wife now understands why I'm like I am (we both thought that I was just really unsociable - I am)  and she's now aware of why I can go very quiet in such situations and will talk me through what's going to happen, where we'll go etc. In addition to that, she'll also set timescales - decide after 1 hour if I want to leave, then check again in 2 hours etc.

I'm lucky (well, I think I am) as I work from home permanently, so I don't have to be around people all day and I can shut my laptop down if it's all becoming too much.

The bipolar thing is interesting as when I first when / was sent to see the Psychologist, I was fully expecting a bipolar diagnosis. If only because of the way I'd appear normal at one point and then become someone completely different the next for no reason at all. Still waiting to see what the outcome of these appointments will be.

I also get so deep into certain things / interests (like engines, computers etc) that I'd have to pull myself out of the various rabbit holes I was getting into just to appear normal to everyone else around me. Going so deep into things like that, whilst I really enjoy it, seems to have a detrimental effect on me as I know how fast the pistons are moving in my cars engine at 70mph in 5th gear and the loads that the pistons are on at the point they change direction which then occupies my mind along with all the other 'noise' and I eventually shut down or go into meltdown. 

My wife usually attends functions on her own, it’s so much better now, there isn’t the days of  ‘radio silence’ and anxiety from me leading up to an event, there’s more of an understanding now that’s it’s not that I won’t go, it’s I can’t go. I don’t work on Mondays anymore, the house is empty of people and I can just recharge, I never realised how important it was before.

I am 53 and awaiting an assment since 2020, should be in the next few months, I hope. For me its knowing what my enemy really is. Lost both parents since 2020 and along with Covid it has been massivley hard. Coming out the other side and have a plan to change our life in the next 18 months, move to a cheaper area and get a basic job. I have given myself much less of a hard time to do things I don't want to. My wife now knows how difficult going to parties are etc and now doesn't ask, I am fine for her to go on her own. I always give my self a self car day at each weekend with one really relaxing day. 

I will be 56 this month, been on the waiting list for a while, I have eight months left of a 30 month wait. The waiting time has given me the time to process my life. A  positive diagnosis just gives me a definitive answer and hopefully stop my self doubt.

Wheeky said:

NHS authority don't deal with adult diagnosis, so it looks like a private route would be needed.

I got my referral through my GP onto the NHS Foundation Trust's Mental Health Services. A series of video Link appointments was set up with a clinical Psychologist which frankly got me nowhere as I found myself overwhelemed by it all and could not continue my participation. This Psychologist referred me onto The Owl Centre (theowltherapycentre.co.uk) who online walked me through  Model 4 of the Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS-2). All this was done at no cost to me.through the NHS.

I was diagnosed in 2021 aged 48. I am in the early stages of my autism awareness & understanding and recently arrived into my 50's too. I became aware of Pathological Demand Avoidance PDA recently and can particularly relate to that in my 50 years so far (you name it, I've pathologically tended to avoid it). 

I'm glad you feel that your diagnosis has helped you with historical issues. I'm hoping for the same myself.

Hi Wheeky, I'm 57 and just waiting for my date for formal confirmation.  I can see similarities in a lot of what you have stated.

I just want to know, I have made peace with it myself and have shared with some family and friends.  

There is lots of good support and advice on this forum, I've found everyone lovely.

Good luck with your progress for diagnosis.

I know where you're coming from, and too much water under the bridge.

All of us oldies couldn't have got diagnosed as kids, even though autism might have technically existed as a condition, it didn't exist in the real world, I'd never even heard of it until I was about forty, and even then, indirectly, only by accident through looking at other issues because of struggling so much. If you're in poverty you're not privy to much and you're just at the mercy of everything getting a hammering from all sides. Where do you realistically go from that? Where I come from you didn't have words like 'anxiety' even, you were just expected to knuckle under and keep your mouth shut.

I was diagnosed last year, age 50. I went private and was seeking a diagnosis to give myself and my family a better understanding of why I was behaving like I was, and also to get some reasonable adjustments put in place at work. For me, it was definitely the right thing to do. As well as helping with the two points above, the diagnosis has also helped contextual my past life (i.e. to understand why I reacted or behaved a particular way throughout certain points in my life) and it has given me "peace of mind" about it all.

Yes  - this year. I'm 53.

Yes, I was diagnosed at the age of 50 and diagnosed as bipolar at the age of 53.

Wheeky,

You will see as you peruse these threads that the list of silver haired autists is growing by the hour.

Welcome!

Ben  (70, assessed ASD High Functioning 3 years ago)

My brother had a private assessment this year aged 60. He said to me.....you will never know what a relief it is to know.

I am waiting for an assessment. Only this year, at aged 59 have i realised and others, that i am autistic. I too am relieved to know this. But life is hard and i am still trying to get my head around it all. 

Hi, yeah this almost reads like me bar the heart attack. In my part of the world the waiting list for adult diagnosis is 3-5 years, so I suppose I'm in a "slightly" better boat than you.

I ended up speaking to a phycologist about some other issues that are actually caused by the then unknown elephant in the room.

When I realised that there was a possible cause and I had a name for it, something clicked and my internal battles greatly subsided.

I'm on the list for a formal diagnosis but from what I understand is that post diagnosis support is pretty much non existent.(in my area anyway). So it's whether it's that important to your to have that diagnosis. Even though I haven't gotten a formal diagnosis I consider myself to be autistic as it now just makes sense to me. 

If you can get phycological support to understand and explore how it impacts your life it may be helpful.

Good luck and stay well