Not caring about what other people think

HMO said:

It's weird. I don't care what people think about my (somewhat uncool) interests but I do care what they think about my appearance and personality.

I understand where you're coming from. I never minded people thinking I'm weird, but I don't want them to think I'm a bad person. There are some things where it's important to care what people think, because it makes you more considerate, but it can be hard not to care about things that don't matter so much.

What sorted it for me was a combination of good therapy (which it sounds like you have) and... turning thirty. I'd always heard that you care less about what people think of you as you get older- I didn't realise it was going to change so significantly for me not long after a milestone birthday! It's very freeing though. These days, if someone doesn't like me, that's a problem for them, not for me.

Yeah I've definitely catastrophised and cared too much about things which, in hindsight, I felt was wasted energy.

It's really important to me that people don't think I'm a bad person to the point I tie myself up in knots over it.

I did have a big event in my life 4 months ago which shifted things. Some things I used to care about, I don't really anymore. Although...

battybats said:

These days, if someone doesn't like me, that's a problem for them, not for me.

I've been good at this sometimes and bad others.

If they dislike me in silence (and don't feel the need to tell me or show me), then it's fine.

If they're going to go out of their way to be horrible (like an awful lot of them are), then I can't let that slide.

Yeah I've definitely catastrophised and cared too much about things which, in hindsight, I felt was wasted energy.

It's really important to me that people don't think I'm a bad person to the point I tie myself up in knots over it.

I did have a big event in my life 4 months ago which shifted things. Some things I used to care about, I don't really anymore. Although...

battybats said:

These days, if someone doesn't like me, that's a problem for them, not for me.

I've been good at this sometimes and bad others.

If they dislike me in silence (and don't feel the need to tell me or show me), then it's fine.

If they're going to go out of their way to be horrible (like an awful lot of them are), then I can't let that slide.