Published on 12, July, 2020
Does this make any kind of sense to anyone?
For me, society seems to be present me with a choice
1. Act normal, uptight and be accepted on the surface, as a walk down the street, but feel depressed, isolated because I have internally obliterated some of the essential quirky parts of my character.
2. Relax, act a bit quirky, and have people avoid me in the street, and be treated like some kind of rapist, mad animal or wierd alien sub-species.
From my own perspective, it seems that people outside have this extra, unnecessary layer, that is like an armed militaristic assault vehicle designed to convince people of their social status - it makes them seem fake, uptight and often rather reactionary, even if they identify as progressive or left wing, because they can't see past their social conditioning needs, that they push in my face at every possible mimenf. If I try to conform to their behaviours of physical uptightness, pushing out my personality like some kind of armed militaristic assault vehicle then my body has to become extremely tense indeed, it's like I'm absorbing all their uptightness, and externally I seem to go to the extreme of their behaviour and often appear robotic or irritable or unreasonably idealistic.
So, that's my dilemma either become robotic or be treated like a potential alien-weirdo-rapist.
Sound familiar, or not?
I live in a village where there is this lad, roughly 17. He is autistic, but to a much greater degree than me. He dresses as a Jedi to go outside and i often see him in the street practicing with his light sabre.
Many people laugh at him or pretend he doesnt exist. The first time i saw him i walked right up to him and said 'dude that is the coolest thing i have seen all year'.
He looked at me and simply said 'thank you.'
Given a choice i am always my quirky self. Let the people laugh or ignore me. That way i know that the people that talk to me are not hostile.
Encouraging him was probably the most evil thing you have ever done in your life. He needed guidance on how to blend in and interact with society, not the contrary.
Why would that be? Why should everyone blend in.
You have a very small minded view. I dont blend in. I dont want to. Neither does he.