What scares you ?

To be aware of it is the scariest thing in the universe --- If it exists outside our perception.  Awareness that we are nothing compared to the size of the universe and our time of existence in this universe is less than the blink of a cosmic eye. Awareness that our senses are drastically limited to perceive the true nature of the universe. Awareness that any amount of scientific knowledge won’t be enough for us to differentiate if the universe is subjective or objective, that we're pre-programmed or we have a free will, that we are created or are we the  result of some random events (or experiment). For me this is my broad view.  At a more personal level what scares you.

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  • I think what scares me is not being able to relax, relatively, and find a way of working to somewhere near the level I am capable of - which is to say. I know how great I am as a human, how unique, but I am scared that I cannot share any of that, in any way in the commercial world.  In the same direction I am scared that I will not be able to share my wild, insane, freewheeling, love-filled spontaneity with anyone - friends or lovers - its something I’ve always wanted and never really got near, because its sort of hard explaining to people what makes me tick.

    On the plus side, the following things don’t scare me very often:

    1. Death - well in the moment it does, then I remind myself that death is really just the thought of death and in the hierarchy of things that bother my mind, it comes pretty low on the totem poll, because once you have let that thing go, and seen that you can actually let go of it, then it makes many situations easier where fear of death might sort of get in the way or cramp my style.  Not that I go looking for death, but if it happens to rear its head, I can take it as something that happens but if I’m happy doing what I want in life and going in a direction that I think is worthy and creative, then I’ll pay the price or take the consequences, if I have to.
    2. My Insignificance in the sight of the enormity of it all - well yes, my mind is a candle flickering in the wind of the enormity of the vast cosmic mind, the meagre spark of what makes me who I am counts for nothing, I am a product of the whole, I am a product of the collective, apart from the fact I am not - the greatest principle of the universe, beauty, beats strongly in me, and having seen the beauty of myself and the beauty of universe, and the potential beauty of what conscious intelligence might became over the millennia, how the great dialogue between all conscious beings might rapidly evolve to the point where the endless dialogue we all partake in every day of our lives, become a dialogue, not of truth, or territory, or power, but a dialogue of beauty and love, where we say things not because they are true, or make us money, but purely because they are beautiful, interesting, challenging, fascinating, maddening and have never been said before.
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  • I think what scares me is not being able to relax, relatively, and find a way of working to somewhere near the level I am capable of - which is to say. I know how great I am as a human, how unique, but I am scared that I cannot share any of that, in any way in the commercial world.  In the same direction I am scared that I will not be able to share my wild, insane, freewheeling, love-filled spontaneity with anyone - friends or lovers - its something I’ve always wanted and never really got near, because its sort of hard explaining to people what makes me tick.

    On the plus side, the following things don’t scare me very often:

    1. Death - well in the moment it does, then I remind myself that death is really just the thought of death and in the hierarchy of things that bother my mind, it comes pretty low on the totem poll, because once you have let that thing go, and seen that you can actually let go of it, then it makes many situations easier where fear of death might sort of get in the way or cramp my style.  Not that I go looking for death, but if it happens to rear its head, I can take it as something that happens but if I’m happy doing what I want in life and going in a direction that I think is worthy and creative, then I’ll pay the price or take the consequences, if I have to.
    2. My Insignificance in the sight of the enormity of it all - well yes, my mind is a candle flickering in the wind of the enormity of the vast cosmic mind, the meagre spark of what makes me who I am counts for nothing, I am a product of the whole, I am a product of the collective, apart from the fact I am not - the greatest principle of the universe, beauty, beats strongly in me, and having seen the beauty of myself and the beauty of universe, and the potential beauty of what conscious intelligence might became over the millennia, how the great dialogue between all conscious beings might rapidly evolve to the point where the endless dialogue we all partake in every day of our lives, become a dialogue, not of truth, or territory, or power, but a dialogue of beauty and love, where we say things not because they are true, or make us money, but purely because they are beautiful, interesting, challenging, fascinating, maddening and have never been said before.
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