Published on 12, July, 2020
The years I’ve been accused of a lot of things a lot of different times. Mostly in relation to things driven by aspects of my autism that people took objection to. Looking back and reflecting I started to notice that the way I’ve dealt with these situations has changed over the years.
My first reaction to an accusation used to be to give some one what I call a bruised toe apology. as if you were apologising to someone who’s toes you’d had just stepped on. It’s not really intended as an admission of culpability. You didn’t mean for it to happen and you couldn’t possibly have foreseen it happening and wasn’t as if you were unusually careless. It’s more an expression of regret your actions inadvertently caused somebody else pain.
But I have discovered that as the years have gone on and I’ve been attacked more and more and accused more and more I’ve stopped giving these apologies. Too often they are interpreted as some sort of admission of guilt and people will turn around and say well he admits it therefore we’ve every reason to punish him and blame him and censure him and kick him out.
There are some people who just don’t want to be reasonable and who will never be satisfied with an apology or an explanation. They’re too many people out there who will judge you guilty as soon as the accusation is made and will admit no latitude for any consideration on your behalf.
It’s been my experience that if you make an apology these individuals will jump on it and use it as grounds to try and convince everybody else that you are guilty as charged; must be excommunicated as soon as possible. Conversely if you make no apology they will accuse you of being completely uncontright, incorrigible and therefore completely unworthy of any consideration. You can’t win with these people, but if instead of apologising you start by attacking the substance of the accusations as soon as possible and as directly as possible you at least have a chance to stop them shutting down the debate before it starts.
If your defence is that your autism occasionally causes you to come off as a bit of an arsehole adopting an argumentative approach that makes you seem needlessly belligerent is not actually that harmful to your case. Afterwards after you’ve made all your arguments, inserted all the caveats, then you can make your apology. just make sure that no one could mistake it for an admission of culpability.
The important thing is to get your foot in the door in the argument so those open to the possibility of autism as an excuse can actually get to hear your side of the story
So I’m really curious to hear how you deal with being accused? Have you noticed the way you handle it has changed over time?
you can probably guess how id deal with being accused. id smack them back down and challenge their accusation, take offence to it and then id point out how they are closer to what they are accusing me of or some other flaw in their logic to highlight any hypocrisy in their position. if a person wishes to attack me they have to have sure footing and not be throwing stones from a glass house, that is for sure. no one is so perfect though.theyd have to be telling the utmost truth and have evidence, id have to agree to it if its truth. if its a truthful thing they accuse me of what i have done i will agree to it. id agree it happened, im not sure if i would apologise.... i wont feel like apologising if the thing they accused me of doing if truth, but yet i still stand by that truth. i wouldnt feel need to apologise for it... such as how i got in trouble for criticising my boss, i agreed that i said the things i said about him and how he runs the place, i didnt apologise for it as i stood by my words rather than surrendered them because i believed in what i said and believe how he treats people needs improvement and how he views a workforce is silly because he wants people to do long hours and just a body to take a space rather than have them be hard workers and do like 24 hours worth of work in 8 hours. hed rather have cardboard cutouts claiming attendance standing around doing nothing for the long prolonged time period instead of getting the work done... i said that, i got caught for it, i stood my ground on it as i believe my words and wont apologise for it because its truth
Caelus said:theyd have to be telling the utmost truth and have evidence, id have to agree to it if its truth
You sound as though you may think the scientific method with its empirical data as evidence is absolute while waving aside other possibilities that could be way beyond our perceptive capabilities. Your interpretation of the "truth" is subjective.
nah scientific things are never truth, even scientists agree to that, they are theories, educated guesses of which any good scientists hope and dream that someone comes along and proves it false or modifies it slightly. science gets warped by politics these days to mean utmost truth.my truth that i rely on however is different... if someone accuses me of stealing cookies, but i didnt do that... then thats not truth, they are lying with false accusations... if someone accuses me of it and i did do it though, thats truth, and i admit it....whether im sorry or not depends on alot of factors though. but in the case of stealing cookies i think all factors likely would stand for a apology, the only way id be stealing cookies if i thought they was free and offered to the public, which would be a mistake which requires a apology and payment for them.ofcourse if i were the type to have stolen cookies, but then lied to deny it, then the truth in that matter would be security camera footage.... there is no guesswork in absolute truth, it is something you have been caught doing, something seen, something known. so my interpretation of truth isnt subjective really.... there is just many layers and definitions. but absolute utmost truth is something seen and evidenced that you cant deny, like seeing video footage of a person stealing cookies. you cant deny that if you see it on camera no?....although to be fair, these days probably maybe can if the accuser went so far as to edit the video to make it out to be that way, its a shame we can no longer trust camera footage as it maybe modified these days. but that takes alot of effort and going out of the way to do for such a trivial matter.all in all theres many layers... a thing you did, you know what you personally did so you have the truth of what you did due to having done it yourself... unless you were drunk or under the influence of drugs which may have blanked your memory then you wouldnt know. people can deny your truth, deny your account of what you did... but then i dunno, who cares? they can doubt you and assume your lying for all they want but you know what you did, and whether you actually did it or not and whether your lying about it. so you know the truth in this situation of what you did right? so its not really subjective then in these cases.
the mass migration waves seemed to start after the 9/11 attacks, coinciding with it. which didnt help the issue as it made people suspicious as to why they all come here directly on the back of that attack and then following attacks made the issues worse.but i sorta believe government shenanigans are behind it all.... the gov wants higher population... all these strange glboal disasters and events happen and off the back of them we get the mass migration to boost our population just like the government wanted so they can fix their percieved population issues and future population dips they suspected would happen. and a increasing population to them means your nation becomes more powerful, more population means more workers and more manpower for military and more taxable income. the government wanted this mass migration, and i suspect they was behind alot of disasters to try and provoke these migration waves.most so called terrorists were all groups of people who america funded and used against russia in the past. its all a bit sus to be fair... and ofcourse yes, it walks that tightrope of conspiracy theory, which is exactly what the gov would want so they can brush it aside if it is infact holding some truth.