Published on 12, July, 2020
This question was inspired by Out of Step.
Since your diagnosis of autism, or your realisation and self identification of autism, have you changed and how?
Also, have others changed in their atttitude to you?
Also, have you made any changes to your life that benefit you?
Has it changed your thought processes/attitude to others/past life experiences etc etc?
I've been thinking about this quite a lot recently. Unfortunately I think I may have lost hope and become more resigned to my situation since the diagnosis. As I look back on my life and re-process many events, I think my current situation was unavoidable and predestined. But if I'd been identified as a child perhaps life could have been so much better. All which just makes me sad.
That said, I have recently (typically for me) started building a spreadsheet that details all the things I need to do to sort myself out. I need to change a lot of things, many small but some quite radical. Fingers crossed I can follow through in the coming months. I know I won't do it all, but even a fraction of it could make a real difference for me.
I have learned a few things in the months since my diagnosis though.
I was quite anxious a lot of the time, particularly at work and in social settings, but simply didn't realise it. One of the giveaways was my watch giving me high heart rate alerts but it was really down to my therapist making me more aware of what my body was telling me. Anyway, I have learned some incredibly useful tools: wearing loop earplugs when in these situations seems to dampen the anxiety right down and no more heart rate alerts, but I can still hear what's going on. Another thing I've started doing is stimming with therapy putty or handrollers when I'm in a long meeting or some other thing I can't escape from but need to focus. That has helped immensely.
I'd forgotten I'd made this thread!
I can't even remember how OOS inspired me - they probably just told me to do it and I obeyed.
Amerantin said:That said, I have recently (typically for me) started building a spreadsheet that details all the things I need to do to sort myself out. I need to change a lot of things, many small but some quite radical. Fingers crossed I can follow through in the coming months.
I hope this involves leaving your spreadsheet behind, leaving your house and meeting people!
Well done.
This is a really positive step.
I do lists - I'm not so good at spreadsheets.
Lists of lists of lists.
Amerantin said:wearing loop earplugs when in these situations seems to dampen the anxiety right down and no more heart rate alerts,
That's great.
They don't make any difference to me but when I had my ears examined a while ago I was told I have very large ear holes!
LOL.
So I'm not just a freak with my big eyes, I have big ear holes too.
I probably ought to use something like the putty because I just pick and eat my fingers and they are always bleeding.
It's hard to change habits, but you are clearly working on it.
ps. You must have a posh watch - mine just tells the time.
Debbie said:I hope this involves leaving your spreadsheet behind, leaving your house and meeting people!
I have been out much more than usual in the last couple of months - a number of work events, some involving travel, trying to spend more time in the office and even a handful of social events. I think I'm too conscious of myself in these situations now though. Don't know if that's over self awareness of my autism or just being out of practice. Probably a bit of both. But at least I'm trying.
Debbie said:Lists of lists of lists.
You should see my phone! This is how I organise my life :)
Debbie said:ps. You must have a posh watch - mine just tells the time.
Gadgets are one of my main vices.
Thanks Pegg. It really isn’t easy but if I don’t try now I never will. If only it was easy to reinvent ourselves
Amerantin said:. Don't know if that's over self awareness of my autism or just being out of practice. Probably a bit of both. But at least I'm trying
Good for you, it's not easy, I know