Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm sorry if my question does not belong here. I am not officially diagnosed but have suspected autism. Every time I start a new job, I am fine for a few months, then I go into a spiral of thinking I'm not liked or not wanted there... especially if I interact with these people a lot everyday. I can never read peoples intensions with me. Of course it could be related to my psychosis diagnosis, but I don't feel its paranoia. I realise that I could be wrong in my thinking and I know I am overthinking it, but I cannot stop it. I don't feel people are plotting against me, I just don't feel very liked or wanted. And I end up feeling like I don't fit in.
I’ve had times in my life, certain jobs for example, where I’ve felt this very much and it might have been true. I’m a very distinctive and passionate person, especially when my special interests are involved, and coupled with my inability to read many social cues and problems understanding people (as in I presume people actually mean what they say) it’s all conspired to genuinely make me un-liked. However my partner has been successfully helping me see that this didn’t apply to everyone in my life, she’s helping me realise that to some people I really am fascinating and a joy to be around. The application of DBT skills is proving to be hugely beneficial here and I now know, as I absolutely didn’t, that I’m not disliked by EVERYONE, I think the countering of black and white thinking is crucial as is the dialectic concept that opposites can co exist, yes some, maybe many people have disliked me, but actually many have and continue to find me interesting and a joy to be around