Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm sorry if my question does not belong here. I am not officially diagnosed but have suspected autism. Every time I start a new job, I am fine for a few months, then I go into a spiral of thinking I'm not liked or not wanted there... especially if I interact with these people a lot everyday. I can never read peoples intensions with me. Of course it could be related to my psychosis diagnosis, but I don't feel its paranoia. I realise that I could be wrong in my thinking and I know I am overthinking it, but I cannot stop it. I don't feel people are plotting against me, I just don't feel very liked or wanted. And I end up feeling like I don't fit in.
I have felt all my life that people are not interested in me.For along timeI used to try and avoid people who I vaugely knew as Ididn't think anybodywanted to know me.I was completely wrong. ASD makes us completely over think stuff,'normal' people do not genrally think like that. Relax, don't let it stress you out.
The worst part is I realise after having lost all of my friends that they did actually like me. I never truly realised or appreciated it at the time - I wanted to believe them when some would tell me that they loved me etc but I couldn't allow myself to. It went against absolutely everything I've believed (no one likes me, I have no positive qualities etc).
I think I'd have felt happier if I stopped trying so hard and just allowed the real me to come out but I didn't know how.