Published on 12, July, 2020
One year ago, I thought that "self improvement" was going to be a natural by-product of finally knowing how and why I "see" and "do" and "think" differently to most other people. Autism.
The relief of finding the explanation for my crafted life and inner thoughts - was overwhelmingly wonderful - especially in the early weeks. It still makes me smile to think of that feeling now.
I thought that, knowing the reason WHY I can be so dysfunctional, suboptimal and darn right frigging useless......would allow me to "hack myself" to improvement.
I thought that, knowing the reason WHY I can be unusually competent and impressive in some respects ... would allow me to "hack myself" to the zenith of my capabilities.
I rationalise and utilise knowledge and information every day to good effect.......so I presumed my self-knowledge would be profoundly powerful....allow me to 'get' or 'engineer' the right help.
I couple of important aspects of my life are much better now......but the majority of my nonsense.....remains nonsense.
I consider myself a lucky survivor, who has earned a magic key of understanding…I'm worried that I'm not using that key to best effect at the moment.
Often on these pages, people say "don't be too hard on yourself, give yourself time, relax, its not your fault etc"........but should we all also be saying, just as often, "keep striving to be better, improve yourself and the lives of those around you, keep challenging yourself etc" ?
I'm feeling some frustration - with myself - I want the next 12 months of my journey to be AT LEAST as constructive as the 12 months since that blinding flash of realisation.
Thoughts anyone?
i dunno, self improvement to me is fitness and martial arts.perhaps a key is to focus on the things you can do instead of the things you cant do. improve and get better at what you can do.maybe improve on a thing that IS you a part of you, that stays with you if everything else gets stripped away. your capability. to me thats physical capability and movement. i dont bother on smart thinky learning or stuff as thats likely a brick wall of wasted effort, i can copy physical movements and pick up physical actions easily, i can do fitness and have unlimited energy. i can improve physically as thats my thing, mentally is probably a dead end that is waste of energy focusing on.so pick what your capable at and focus on improving that. anything else maybe a dead end and get small gains.but still try all first, you never know you could be good at a thing you thought not and pick something up fast. in mental stuff for me i can probably pick up literacy and english side well, smarter stuff goes into maths though and maths makes my brain hurt lol although to improve does take alot of time and effort, getting physical badass like i am took at least 4 years of hard training before i even considered myself good enough at doing things.
I am surprised not to see more people on this forum actively seeking to overcome some of their autistic challenges to some extent or other.
I accept that autism normally brings with it challenges for us all - different challenges for each of us - and indeed there are some things that may be completely beyond our capabilities.
However, incremental or minor improvements in capability should be pursued, if they are reasonably foreseeable in their delivery - ie Self Improvement?
I had expected more phases like "this is something that I do that helps" and "have you tried doing this" rather than so much of the "be kind to yourself" and "relax and settle back into your reality" type commentaries.
I started this thread to see if I am alone (or deemed daft or deluded) in my pursuit of self improvement. Thus far, it appears that I am alone and/or daft and/or deluded............but that's fine, I'm used to being viewed like that.
eh i tried in some regard on some things... like how i forced myself to go out to nightclubs or whatever with the odd person i knew ages ago. it didnt work, i just ended up either sitting alone in there, and i learned that in a loud hyper social nightclub i start to shake a bit and especially on the bus home it was like i was cold shaking but not cold, i bet people thought i was spiked or on drugs.anyway i dont think its good to force yourself into a position like that, not sure if you can improve on that lol forcing myself to get up and talk would probably manifest worst shakes and would feel weird and awkward anyway. probably be put in danger too if any rando i decide to talk to decides im cringe and wants to do something bad to me.
FWIW - I think it is great that you are going to martial arts classes. It's hard - but you are doing it. That is what I am talking about.
oh, and also going to martial arts classes is also kinda that too.... i mean the first few times you go to a new martial arts class full of people you dont know, and these are fit strong people who do combat martial arts and can probably beat you up, this is pretty anxious thing to go to such a place of new crowd and join in with them.especially as it constantly has that picking a partner thing and ofcourse i always end up standing alone picking whoever had the short straw of being left with me as the only option lol