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Am I the only one, or does this sound like you sometimes?

Maria (formerly NAS88629)
over 1 year ago

Hi, everybody. I'll try to get to the point without blabbering on.

I have not been formally diagnosed, but it's obvious. I'm a woman in my 50s and although I'm not particularly interested in social interaction, I *am* tired of being "the only one who_____" all the time. Anyone relate?

  • I have no desire for social interaction but I'm not unfriendly or grumpy.
  • I don't care what I wear (no interest in fashion) so I don't look like most ladies my age who like to shop. I don't look wild/bad or anything and I do get dressed lol. But I stand out as not like the others.
  • You'll never see me in heels or ladies' dress shoes. Why suffer?
  • I don't care if it's cold; I'll wear ski pants, big warm gloves, and hats in the winter while ladies my age wear fashionable stuff. I'd rather be warm.
  • I cut my own hair. It looks fine (simple long hair "style") and have no desire to do the crap most women do with their hair.
  • I've never had a mani-pedi and never will.
  • Believe it or not, I'm still considered "cute" somehow (so I've been told) but I have no interest in dating even if people ask sometimes. I have in the past, but been there, done that. Love being single.
  • I prefer to live alone but with animals.
  • Animals (dogs/cats) are my "people." I feel closer to them than humans. I grieve their loss as much/more than humans.
  • I do work and believe it or not, I am an entertainer who teaches and performs. I can be charming and fun, but it's from decades of learning how to flip the switch and be like that.
  • I do not go to places most people go (restaurants, bars, church, events). I go outside alone in nature (hiking, kayaking, etc.). I haven't been to an establishment for years because I don't enjoy myself there, and that's ok (too loud, too much stuff going on).
  • Considering my job (very public) people think I'm stuck up because they don't see me out and about in general...but I'm not. I just don't enjoy it and it's stressful.
  • I don't own a TV and keep my house quiet with the exception of occasional peaceful music.

Like I said, I don't need to be *around* other people like me. It would just be nice to know that there are some people like me, somewhere. It's hard not seeing oneself reflected in any way in the larger community. Does any of this sound like any of you? I'm not looking for personal messages or anything. Just a "yeah, me too" would be enough. 

Thanks

Parents
  • over 1 year ago

    Welcome 88629, I am Number.

    Congratulations on finding your people.  You and I are kin.

    Cousins perhaps, but from the same truth.

    I fear that many of us fail to realise "what the hell it is all about" in time, and they wither on the vine or worse.

    Survives of the enlightenment battle we are.

    I hope you will enjoy meeting more in our diverse (but fundementally core) family.

    It is my pleasure to make your acquaintance.

    Number.

  • over 1 year ago in reply to Number

    PS...I've just read more carefully some of your responses above - especially regarding your animal family members.  Please do not think that your feelings and actions are unique....many here, and myself, know and feel the same intensity towards our animal companions.  You are most certainly not alone in this.

  • over 1 year ago in reply to Number

    Thank you, Number! What a wonderful community here. Learning that there are, indeed, people like me somewhere--anywhere--has made a much bigger difference to me than I was expecting. Not only that, but you all seem quite interesting and I'm enjoying reading the responses.

    I relate to the realization struggle. The "what's wrong with me?" and/or the "what's wrong with everybody else?" is lifelong until the lightbulb. Not that it's suddenly all easy after that, but you know what I mean...

    And the animal issue...so nice to hear that others relate!! I know that I'm not crazy for experiencing my animals as "people" (in the closeness of the bond, I mean) but others around me don't get it.

    A while ago one of my animals was hospitalized and not expected to survive; it happened to be over my birthday and everyone knew about it, but they told me to still go out and have fun anyway. Can you imagine?? Talk about feeling alone or misunderstood. How in the world...why would I party while she is probably dying and potentially never to be seen alive again? That episode really pushed me to try to find others like me. Thank you for your validation. 


    Anyway, thank you for your thoughtful response. It's nice to meet you!



Reply
  • over 1 year ago in reply to Number

    Thank you, Number! What a wonderful community here. Learning that there are, indeed, people like me somewhere--anywhere--has made a much bigger difference to me than I was expecting. Not only that, but you all seem quite interesting and I'm enjoying reading the responses.

    I relate to the realization struggle. The "what's wrong with me?" and/or the "what's wrong with everybody else?" is lifelong until the lightbulb. Not that it's suddenly all easy after that, but you know what I mean...

    And the animal issue...so nice to hear that others relate!! I know that I'm not crazy for experiencing my animals as "people" (in the closeness of the bond, I mean) but others around me don't get it.

    A while ago one of my animals was hospitalized and not expected to survive; it happened to be over my birthday and everyone knew about it, but they told me to still go out and have fun anyway. Can you imagine?? Talk about feeling alone or misunderstood. How in the world...why would I party while she is probably dying and potentially never to be seen alive again? That episode really pushed me to try to find others like me. Thank you for your validation. 


    Anyway, thank you for your thoughtful response. It's nice to meet you!



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