Burden

I always hoped I would never become a burden, because let's be honest no one wants to be like that, and now I've come to realise that's exactly what I am.

A big fat burden on my family, especially my mum. She loves me to bits and I love her, more than anything, yet I am a burden. My mum is away for a week, she asked me several times and I said yeah go for it. I didn't want her to, I hate when people are away but I thought my mum could do with a break away and I was right. She sent me a picture today and she looks so happy, happiest she's been in ages.

I'm happy she is happy but I'm sad because she's not as happy when she's at home and that's because of me. I'm hard work, I know I am.. I don't mean to be but I am. I can be unbearable, telling about my anxiety and health, and it upsets her. She's never said so but I know it does and I've tried to talk about it less.

What doesn't help is that I'm suffering from mental problems now with my physical health problem. This first happened to me during my first year of secondary school and now it's going for me again but weirdly I can't fight it off like I did before..

My mum never complains, she's nice like that but I feel bad now for being like this.. She doesn't work, she stays home to look after me.

I hate who I've become.