Shades of Grey

I used to lament over my lack of ability to express the risk and the distress that society causes me, I used hate how others either chose to ignore my difference or didn’t see it at all, I used think for hours about how ‘if my body had less integrity to it then others would see me for what I actually am’..

A pretty intense ideation, as I’m sure you will agree, but it felt like it’d be better than being invisible. Luckily I had an autistic friend, who used to give me harsh-counsel to keep my solution at bay, he was very straightforward with me, which in turn made me think straight..

You remind you of him Judge..

As I said, that's the difference between an extremist and a moderate.

Oh yes... song playing in my head and can't get it out... I thought everybody had that, but they don't. I have tried to explain it on several times in my life. People look at me blankly... 

Muse, the absolute worst for that... 

Judge Dredd said:

An NT would say something like "Communism is not perfect, but there are some aspects of communism that make sense and can be incorporated in a society."

I'm not sure which NTs you're talking to, but that's pretty far from my experience. Unless someone is pretty left wing, they'll be about as likely to say that as they are to talk about how national socialism has good points. 

I am so sorry Debbie.

If it is of any consolation, I recently had a similar experience as a result of something I had seen on the forums. It was days after the event, and I woke up one day with the same song playing on a loop in my head. Agh! 

As a certified ASD sufferer, I can tell freely that my view of people with ASD is less than favourable. I refused to attend any group support, and I do not interact with ASD apart for learning on how to act less ASD. If I could choose between keeping my ASD or living as a NT in a wheelchair, I would gladly accept the wheelchair.  

Not the majority, but I suspect that many of them are just undiagnosed ASD. That's extremely sad, since they could have had a normal life with some diagnosis and therapy. Instead, they ended up as dangerous fanatics exploited by their leaders. Young ASD people are extremely vulnerable to propaganda and indoctrination.

I remember that I was an impressionable youth with an unsupportive family. If somebody had tried to groom and indoctrinate me, I would have fallen for it.  

I have a complaint to make.

Every time I read this heading I have 'Fade to Grey' by Visage in my head ALL DAY.

Here we go again ...

Thank you Luftmentsch. This has helped to reassure me greatly. I know that some of my traits are mild, so perhaps this explains why I feel I am sometimes able to see the shades of grey.

Thank you for your explanation.

However, your final sentence concerns me. I could well be reading too much into it, but it seems (to me, at least) that you're suggesting the majority of fanatics are autistic.

You are, of course, entitled to your own opinion, but having read some of the things you have expressed elsewhere in the forums, it would appear that you have a less than favourable view of autistic people, despite being autistic yourself.

Sorry T, I realise it was a poor example that I had used.

Anyway, thank you for your explanation. Although my example was poor, it would seem that I was generally on the right track in terms of my understanding of what it meant.

I think it's another area where autism is a spectrum and no one has all the traits. I think I'm pretty good at seeing complexity in ideas, politics, religion and so on, and also realising that most people are not "good" or "bad" but a mixture. However, when it comes to looking at events in my past or my thoughts about the future, I do very much see them as all good or all bad with little nuance, at least unless I force myself to be more realistic.

Ohh.. it’s kinda sad that this’ll never get responded to..

Rigid black and white thinking is one of the main issues of ASD.

NT are usually able to give some nuance to their thinking. An NT would say something like "Communism is not perfect, but there are some aspects of communism that make sense and can be incorporated in a society." Same thing for religion, work practices and everything else. NT also have the ability to accept something that is not perfect, but works well enough for now until a better solution can be found.

ASD tend to lack this skill. For them, it's everything or nothing. A religion, politic or practice is either 100% good and perfect, or 100% evil and wrong. They commit 100% to their idea, and cannot understand how anybody in his right mind can accept the opposite. I interacted with fanatics of all colours, and I suspect that many of them were just undiagnosed ASD.

I think it's more complicated if you think about sadness vs happiness because emotions are such a complicated and shifting thing.

It's more like either something is good or bad, right or wrong, dumb or sensible, with little room for things that aren't either on one side or the other of a clear dividing line. 

I'm not sure to be honest.

For me personally I don't really see things in black and white I just see things I guess as they are? Does that make sense?

My brain is overanalyzing all the time and I just see things I think how they are. It's a bit strange really but whenever people mention seeing things black and white I can never relate.

Oh also lol I saw the title and thought you were referring to a new Shades of Grey book XD