Published on 12, July, 2020
ive noticed as an adult that i am extemly isolated and lonely. i have my girlfriend (also adhd) but no matter how hard i try at work to actually be friends, they will always just be co workers. my therapist doesnt know how to help me make friends and online chat rooms have been no help. My girlfriend does not have this stuggle. she is in bands, she is in school and works, and she has friends in all of them. is it just me? why cant i make friends. i am struggling and i am alone. i need help. i struggle with suicidal idiations and the more alone i feel every day the more it worsens, i had a friend and he ghosted me after 5 years. i dont know what to do, any advice aprriceated
We are " Hard wired " that way buddy.It is not treatable, only manageable at best.What we want and what we can do will always be at odds with each other.It is a mental conflict we need to try and compromise with.
An elder in my life who I respect, says autism is "what we used to call sensitive", and I believe from context and experience he was being polite and perhaps we are more accurately described as being "overly-sensitive".
If like me, you have Autism overlaid with ADD you are literally set up to be easy to upset, and worse, liable to making a hasty response.
Now, the hasty responses in my opinion (& experience!) can either be awesomely brilliant and dazzle the observer, or as seems depressingly often just bring MORE trouble down upon the hapless Autists head.
I "solved" that problem when I was eighteen and smoked cannabis for the first time. Although regular cannabis use has many downsides drawbacks and complications, it did get me out of a perpetual state of conflict and or victimisation with/by the people around me which had dominated my previous 14 years that I can remember being on the receiving ends of physical assault.
IF I stop smoking the stuff, the level of aggravation at the hands of other people and rash undertakings on my part, soon markedly increases, and I'm simply too creatively destructive when I get the hump properly, so I tell myself that my despicable nasty drug habit is actually "in the public interest".
IN reality, it's total selfishness on my part. If people keep "coming at you", eventually you have to actually hurt them, and I simply don't want to do that and have to know I did that, any more than I am reluctantly forced to. Even cannabinated I occasionally seem to find a "would be nemesis"arise every so often, but the "watchfulness of the Kif" as the Morrocans refer to it (I believe, not totally sure of my facts I got from a hippy book!) seems to stay my hand and allow me to work that sort of problem more sucessfully.
I prefer to eternally-disappointment people, rather than hurt people, because it never pays to be seen as the hurtful one. If escalation occurs, the ball will be in there court as to whether harm is inflicted, furthermore it will be their fault when the music starts as-it-were..
Exactly right. (IMHO)