Published on 12, July, 2020
So I'm not sure I really belong in here. I'm a mum to a wonderful little girl, who struggles in the bug wide world.
For the past year, we had noticed she wasn't like her siblings or her peers. She struggles in all social settings, nursery has been a huge problem, as her anxiety has caused her to struggle. Struggling to communicate with teachers to even ask for basic things like the toilet, she has to have structure and routine because if it changes she reverts completely back into her shell and refuses to talk, or participate. She is obsessive over a particular friend. Without him, she again reverts back to her shell.
She's been under the care of extra help at nursery which has helped, but not enough that they hadn't got their concerns.
At home she is different. Loud, vibrant, songs and dances, but she is also anxious at the thought of her dad leaving for work, she pre empts it and breaks down. Her temper is like nothing I have ever known. Once she's down the rabbit hole, she can't come back out.
She refuses certain food and clothes. They have to be familiar and things she likes, even down to the point she would only wear trousers that were so tatty they had huge holes in them. She has to sit in certain places, and if someone sits there, she loses it and you can't reason with her.
Nursery have referred her to senco as she starts reception in the autumn, and has said we should look for a referral to have her assessed as they feel something isn't quite lining up.
I'm struggling to get one of my children to understand and he just winds her up to the point of hell breaking loose.
I honestly don't know what to think, or do or say, as we don't know yet,.but deep down, I think iv always known.
NAS88103 said:I'm struggling to get one of my children to understand and he just winds her up to the point of hell breaking loose.
If you have tried reasoning with him, made him aware of the actions required and he still does this then it is time for teaching him about consequences.
I would tell him that if he does it again then there will be a consequence (or punishment if you prefer). You need to stand firm and enact the consequence while telling him why you are doing it - eg "I asked you not to do that, you still did it and now you are having (for example) your bike taken away for a week".
I know there are some people who do not believe in punishments but I believe a sensible one educates your child in actions and their consequences. Finding the right balance is going to depend on what is important to your son and his sensitivity though.
Only my opinion though.