As a 44yr old father of 2 you who has worked as a retail manager for most of his adult life, you would think that my communication skills must be pretty good right? Well scrap that idea, because actually they are pretty bad.
How bad I hear you ask? and to that I answer, really bad.
I struggle with my facial expressions - apparently they are really emotive but not in a good way, I come across as judgmental, angry, frustrated. I cannot keep a conversation flowing, I pause lots while I process things. I don't always finish sentences the way that would be considered "the norm", sometimes I misunderstand what is being said or meant and this leads to massive frustration for me and my partner.
I am desperate for someone to point me in the direction of some help, some support, some literature to help me understand my communication barriers and yes, to try and improve them.
I have posted on so many social media platforms - groups that supposedly are supportive, but what I get is a lot of noise from people telling me that it is not for me to improve or try to change, it is for my partner to understand and make adjustments. This doesn't work for me. Why?
- I'm not looking for the world to change for me.
- I'm not looking for my partner to adjust everything she does, just for me.
- A relationship is a two way street and for me to sit and say "I'm autistic, deal with it." is both abusive to the woman I love and unacceptable to the way I was raised and how I want my autistic son to view relationships.
- My partner has already; changed, adjusted, realigned and supported, call it what you will and it is about time I figured out how I can return her support and love ten fold.
I apologise if the tone of this post is aggressive and antagonistic to some, but I am really at the point beyond no return with this, I want to learn how to communicate better. I know I'm never going to be "perfect" I'm not looking to be, but I want to improve for myself, my partner, my son and the wider world.
