Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey! I am actually going for an assessment here in the US in a few weeks but I am gathering info. I am a 40 y/o woman and I ended up here because my kids are both done with school and I decided to attempt making a friend group for myself. I didn't seem to able to so I started researching how and ended up here.
It is both nice and sad to see myself explained. Sad only because my family could have been more accepting and loving of things when I was young.
Anyway, I still want friends lol
Irl people are going to want an official diagnosis if I am going to bring it up so I'll have to wait. I do have one question. Does it help to let people now you're autistic or does that make things harder? I feel like it would make it easier to explain some things about myself and maybe being able to connect better. Then I thought it might just make people avoid ne from the start.
Advice?
No offense meant Chlotte, but the fact that you are asking this on a UK forum says a lot. I lived in the US for 5 years and from what I experienced the US is even worse than the UK in how autism is viewed.
With neurotypical people I don't say "I'm autistic" and expect them to understand. I try to be specific whilst standing up for my needs. Mainstream society does not understand autism. At best they view it as a learning disability, or they don't even know what the word means. I say things like " Can I get back to you because I need time to think about what you just said", "That doesn't work for me. It's best for me if I...", "Socialising that way isn't beneficial for me so thanks for the offer but I won't be attending. It's nothing personal ". So to answer your question it doesn't help either to disclose or not disclose because general awareness needs to shift for that to happen. To advocate for yourself takes a lot of courage and so many of us are so burnt out from simply trying to survive in a system that is not catering our needs. Things are changing but in the meantime we need to be aware that there are prejudices and be cautious about keeping ourselves safe, and keep paying attention to laws specific to where we live because there are dire consequences for being viewed a certain way by society.
Ottilie, you sound really upset, if you want to chat please feel free to DM me. Here to listen. x
I'm ok, Autumn. Thanks. I just had a really bad time in the US with my ex-husband. I had sensory overwhelm a lot of the time and he would say things like I was emotionally unstable or too sensitive and not accept that I am autistic. I had a mental health crisis from it and because he was my next of kin mental health services involved him in my care even though I was telling them I'm autistic and why I was in a crisis is because of living with someone that treated me that way. I'm sure it can be that way in the UK too. I just saw a really bad side of US society.