Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm a newly diagnosed ASD chap who's always been classed as being "quirky". But my wife has always thought different and that there might be something else which behind closed doors has caused countless arguments, upsets and massive lows on both our sides (me to the point of ending it, and her to the point of wanting to walk out).
Somehow along the way we've managed to create 2 amazing children, but all that's done is add way more stress. My inability to commicate at an emotional level, lack of apparant empthy and support, and absolutely shocking planning skills has killed my relationship whereby I'm told regulary that were it not for the children, she would have walked, and is counting down the days until she can leave.
I've had coaching but nothing sticks, and I am so anxious around her as I don't want to upset her, which then compounds every other issue I have.
Does anyone else have an experience like this, how has it panned out? Any advice?
feeling like you need to walk on eggshells is tough. have you tried agreeing to have a specific time each week to sit down and discuss any concerns? try to identify a problem and agree a plan to fix it? start small and try to build a pattern of success.
To be honest, it is tough... bloody tough for us both. I have booked in time for specific things like finance chats etc (she hates it as it's too formal and too work like... not like a relationship should be), but for me it works.We don't sit down enough and discuss concerns/recap so that's a great idea., and starting small is key. I've too bad a track record of trying to fix everything all at once (I'm already stretched thin with work, partenting, running, govenorship, mentorship, DIY etc)... why do one thing when you can do them all.But thank you for the suggestion, honestly... makes a lot of sense! :-)