Terrified of work

I'm too exhaused to even type this. I have started a new job and its a completely different career from what I'm used to. Its librarian work which you would think would suit me and sometimes it does but im used to being a teacher and the change to a new career, particularly after how badly I was discriminated against in my last job and the effect that had on me, has absolutley floored me.
Since starting this job I have had so much fear every morning and evening and at the end of lunch breaks about going back. The wierd things are there are also times when i feel very calm there and enjoy the job.

Its difficult to describe the effect its having on me. the only time in my life I went through something similar was the change when I left retail to start teaching. Its very very hard to put into words what is going through my head but it is extremely painful 

Any advice would be needed. I know it might pass when I get used to the job but I dont think I can stand this pain and suffering in the meantime 

Parents
  • Hi Billy, 

    I was a librarian for years. If it's any help I had blinding headaches every evening for the first 2 weeks of starting work. There is a lot to learn and of course, back then, I was masking even to myself that I was having sensory issues. If you can, I found going shelving was a break from doing the customer service parts, and shelving/tidying the reference library was the quietest place to take a break from feeling overwhelmed. If you can work out what you are struggling with I may have some ideas to help. Let me know if you're working full time or part time and what your typical work day looks like. Whoever is training you  should understand that it's overwhelming at times so don't feel like you can't speak up and ask to do something less demanding. Some people don't like doing the jobs they consider mundane, like repairs and shelving, so they may actually appreciate if you offer to do that. Also, get out for your lunch break otherwise you have to make conversation with colleagues and don't get a break at all. It does get easier and if you can stick it out then it can suit autistic people. I loved it and only left because I was made redundant. 

Reply
  • Hi Billy, 

    I was a librarian for years. If it's any help I had blinding headaches every evening for the first 2 weeks of starting work. There is a lot to learn and of course, back then, I was masking even to myself that I was having sensory issues. If you can, I found going shelving was a break from doing the customer service parts, and shelving/tidying the reference library was the quietest place to take a break from feeling overwhelmed. If you can work out what you are struggling with I may have some ideas to help. Let me know if you're working full time or part time and what your typical work day looks like. Whoever is training you  should understand that it's overwhelming at times so don't feel like you can't speak up and ask to do something less demanding. Some people don't like doing the jobs they consider mundane, like repairs and shelving, so they may actually appreciate if you offer to do that. Also, get out for your lunch break otherwise you have to make conversation with colleagues and don't get a break at all. It does get easier and if you can stick it out then it can suit autistic people. I loved it and only left because I was made redundant. 

Children
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