Cutting People Out

Glad I'm not alone in it.

I've been trying to figure out why, and I think, now I understand more about myself and ADD+autism post-diagnosis, realise that I try to predict outcomes (scripting) but you can't predict the outcome of others. So if there is anything I am uncomfortable with in a relationship, even the smallest thing, that I can't remove or resolve through adapting my mindset then I seem to go mute.

It's happened since I was a kid, but is happening again now. My brother lives the other side of the world. He left 4+ years ago and had two kids there. I've been left 'holding the parents' who are aging.

I'm sore because I can't understand how somebody can do that. I would never cut my folks out like that after all they did bringing us up.

I asked him about that before and he said 'ah no, they are happy for me. That I'm travelling and living my life'.

Since then I haven't tried to communicate it again, I just try not to speak to him. I find that mindset totally selfish. He also hasn't considered how it effects me and my small family too.

But I don't know how to resolve it. So I avoid it entirely. But I'm aware that response is detrimental to relationships

JT said:

But I'm aware that response is detrimental to relationships

Yes....for most people, it's not worth the bother and confusion of dealing with autistic brains.  However, some folk seem able and willing to see past / see things for what they are = my definition of a friend.

I've realised now it's likely that that some people are looking for an excuse anyway. But yes the ones who see past matters or accept them are worth the effort!

I've realised now it's likely that that some people are looking for an excuse anyway. But yes the ones who see past matters or accept them are worth the effort!