Lonely

The loneliest I've ever felt is being in a relationship and being misunderstood the majority of the time. I'm much happier alone than being in that situation. Living with other people is hard as an autistic person.

There is far too much emphasis on looks these days, especially with social media. There seems to be a misconception on here that women want men to be good looking to even give them a chance. That's not true for me or women I know. I can't speak for all women but if you're presentable, clean, have nice manners and show an interest in someone and genuine care then you'll eventually come across someone that will appreciate you for who you are. You have to be willing to be vulnerable in relationships too and I think that can be a problem for autistic people that have become masters at masking and hiding their true selves. Rejection sensitive dysphoria is also a barrier because you do expose yourself to rejection if you try dating. You have to be robust enough to take rejection and not crumble. That's a tough one to overcome because a lot of us have been exposed to attitudes that we are not good enough or that we're unacceptable or nobody will like us if they knew what we're really like. 

For connection with other people I can recommend volunteering for something you care about. I am trying to find the balance with being around people and not getting overwhelmed. It's a work in progress...  I volunteer for something that is based on making things not socialising. It's just nice to be in a workshop with other people and feel connected to them and a project. To be fair, I suspect and know some of them are also autistic so we get to be nerdy together and talk about technical things rather than feelings and whatever NTs focus on. Another place I've found tolerable over the years is allotments. Same thing, chatting about gardening and growing plus it's good for you to be outside connected with nature. Or a group based on your special interest. 

For romantic relationships there's Hiki app. It's also for friendships. I haven't tried it but the autism specific dating and friendship apps are increasing. If I was interested it would be something I would try. Getting to know people over the internet is much easier than navigating a physical space, sensory input and unknown people that creates barriers for us to socialise in the usual ways. 

The loneliest I've ever felt is being in a relationship and being misunderstood the majority of the time. I'm much happier alone than being in that situation. Living with other people is hard as an autistic person.

There is far too much emphasis on looks these days, especially with social media. There seems to be a misconception on here that women want men to be good looking to even give them a chance. That's not true for me or women I know. I can't speak for all women but if you're presentable, clean, have nice manners and show an interest in someone and genuine care then you'll eventually come across someone that will appreciate you for who you are. You have to be willing to be vulnerable in relationships too and I think that can be a problem for autistic people that have become masters at masking and hiding their true selves. Rejection sensitive dysphoria is also a barrier because you do expose yourself to rejection if you try dating. You have to be robust enough to take rejection and not crumble. That's a tough one to overcome because a lot of us have been exposed to attitudes that we are not good enough or that we're unacceptable or nobody will like us if they knew what we're really like. 

For connection with other people I can recommend volunteering for something you care about. I am trying to find the balance with being around people and not getting overwhelmed. It's a work in progress...  I volunteer for something that is based on making things not socialising. It's just nice to be in a workshop with other people and feel connected to them and a project. To be fair, I suspect and know some of them are also autistic so we get to be nerdy together and talk about technical things rather than feelings and whatever NTs focus on. Another place I've found tolerable over the years is allotments. Same thing, chatting about gardening and growing plus it's good for you to be outside connected with nature. Or a group based on your special interest. 

For romantic relationships there's Hiki app. It's also for friendships. I haven't tried it but the autism specific dating and friendship apps are increasing. If I was interested it would be something I would try. Getting to know people over the internet is much easier than navigating a physical space, sensory input and unknown people that creates barriers for us to socialise in the usual ways.