Parents talk garbage to me and expect me to be grateful

I’ve been raised by narcissistic parents who treat me like absolute crap, they push me around and threaten to take me to the mental hospital. They scream at me and belittle me yet they will love bomb me and expect me to be grateful for what they’ve done for me.

My mom was nagging at me as usual, and I’m getting tired of her, I told her over and over again that she doesn’t need to repeat it a hundred times. She yelled at me “now don’t you start that tone with me girl!”. I yelled at her that she never shuts up and will exaggerate everything that involves me. Her response is “I’m just concerned about you cause you were going to burn yourself”. I told her that she shouldn’t be treating me like a three year old which she keeps denying.

I slammed the door outside in anger, while she screams at me “you better not start that slamming and rampaging with me again girl!”. I screamed back at her “shut the f*** up you b****!”. Normally I don’t swear at her or call her derogatory names but she has pushed me over the years treating me like pure crap calling me a monster and never acting like a normal human being, and yet she wonders why I act the way she labels me.

I marched outside back to my home, and dad demanded me that I better march back inside and apologize to her. I refused and justified it with “she never apologized for me and meant it, so why should I do the same for her?!”. Dad threatened me that he and mom will take me to therapy if I don’t clean up my act. He yelled at me some more “your mother and I expect you to treat your parents with more respect! We do absolutely everything for you, look at the food on your plate, look at what she cooked for you! And this is how you treat your mother?!”

I told him “you and mom are not entitled to the respect from me if you fail to give respect to your own children! Just because I was born to you doesn’t offer you any favors that I should be overwhelmingly worshipping you!”. He yelled at me that he and mom are disowning me, which I find hilarious because a couple of days later they go back to live bombing me.

I’ve had enough of them. And I’m sure they’ll blame me for everything else anyway and deny any of this was their fault. I dunno man. Disappointed

Parents
  • It sounds a little-like there is a negative-tone that pervades the dialogue that you have with your parents, I think that therapy is actually a positive-thing and I think that weaponising mental-health pathways is wrong, if you were to take on therapy it would be an obstacle that these things have been used to reprimand you in the past.  
    Over-familiarity aside, it is never a good thing to get so ‘extra’ with others, if you/they are not 90% the way to achieving your/their ends. It is likely the case that your parents love you, and really want you to succeed, but they do not have a clear-picture of how to help.  
    I think you would see a positive improvement if you stopped-short of getting-personal, because it just never gets the job done, just as your parents cannot push or pull you either-way by getting-personal, you likely will not see results either. If nothing-else just resist the urge to be kinder to yourself, you may not be able to resist all the time, but if you resist the trigger you can you will feel better for it..

Reply
  • It sounds a little-like there is a negative-tone that pervades the dialogue that you have with your parents, I think that therapy is actually a positive-thing and I think that weaponising mental-health pathways is wrong, if you were to take on therapy it would be an obstacle that these things have been used to reprimand you in the past.  
    Over-familiarity aside, it is never a good thing to get so ‘extra’ with others, if you/they are not 90% the way to achieving your/their ends. It is likely the case that your parents love you, and really want you to succeed, but they do not have a clear-picture of how to help.  
    I think you would see a positive improvement if you stopped-short of getting-personal, because it just never gets the job done, just as your parents cannot push or pull you either-way by getting-personal, you likely will not see results either. If nothing-else just resist the urge to be kinder to yourself, you may not be able to resist all the time, but if you resist the trigger you can you will feel better for it..

Children
  • Actually you don’t know if my parents actually love me or not. There are family members who act like they love me but really they just the attention.

    Are you telling me it’s ok for me to be demeaning to myself? I don’t think you understand how resisting the urge to get personal actually means bottling up my emotions. It is dangerous to bottle up one’s emotions, because it can physically kill us. I’ve done this for years in fact, and it’s done a lot more harm than good.

    I am also an HSP. Being told not to take things personal is like telling me to grow thick skin. It’s unhealthy and expects me to completely change myself all while letting my parents remain the way they are. I cannot change the way I am, I was born an HSP and being expected to change myself is a form of mutilation for me. Taking things personally is actually a good thing because not doing so is often the result of being a pushover.

    I’ve had people walk all over me because I didn’t take things personally. and when I began to challenge their beliefs and being kinder to myself, they get upset and would try to bring me down because they are used to treating me as their doormat.

    Ii am proud to be an HSP and I will not change that part of me to please other people. I used to be a people pleaser but I’m not anymore. Advice such as these is a drag for us HSP’s and dismissive of how our bodies and minds work. It is better to just accept who we are.