Undiagnosed/ misdiagnosed

Hi Sarah,

I am and was very like you. I struggled with understanding why people treated me in such a way and my diagnosis helped me to see things in a different light. 

Essentially I do suffer from anxiety, depression and get overwhelmed easily. These are all 'mental health', but now I can appreciate that because of my autism my brain is programmed to spot every detail, look for issues and worry about every eventuality. This hyper-vigilance has, in the past, made me feel odd, difficult and anxious. People around me not understanding me or giving me the time I need has made me feel depressed. 

I never appreciated or understood that, for me, it all stemmed from having too much input and not enough space or time to process that world around me. To use an analogy: If I was stood on a beach, in front of the sea, instead of worrying about a wave getting me and my clothes soaking wet if a big wave comes along I can prepare myself by embracing the waves. Knowing I will get wet and knowing it will take a while to dry off, but I won't be stuck on the beach forever, I can leave the beach when I want but also the beach is a fun place to be. 

In my analogy, the beach is 'going out somewhere', sea and wave are the incoming information and emotions. If using this analogy the best thing that has helped me is to talk to those around me to tell them how I feel about 'the beach' and to help them recognise the signs of a big wave coming in, recognise when I've had too much and to help me find a way to 'dry off'.

I really hope my analogy makes sense. I suppose what I am saying is you can't stop the tide but it's not your fault. You will grow to understand and spot the things that trigger you and can then choose when and how much exposure to that you have.

To put this into real context: I love going to my local cafe, the people are lovely and I love it there. But I recognise that when they are really busy, the staff are stressed and there is lots of noise I can become overwhelmed by a 'wave' of emotions. So I can manage this by try to go there when it's quieter, telling them about my autism, using headphones to block out some of the noise, not going there when I am already overwhelmed and listening to my wife when she suggests it might be time to go.

Anyway, I really really hope that this makes some sort of sense, I don't normally write my analogies down.   

Hi Sarah,

I am and was very like you. I struggled with understanding why people treated me in such a way and my diagnosis helped me to see things in a different light. 

Essentially I do suffer from anxiety, depression and get overwhelmed easily. These are all 'mental health', but now I can appreciate that because of my autism my brain is programmed to spot every detail, look for issues and worry about every eventuality. This hyper-vigilance has, in the past, made me feel odd, difficult and anxious. People around me not understanding me or giving me the time I need has made me feel depressed. 

I never appreciated or understood that, for me, it all stemmed from having too much input and not enough space or time to process that world around me. To use an analogy: If I was stood on a beach, in front of the sea, instead of worrying about a wave getting me and my clothes soaking wet if a big wave comes along I can prepare myself by embracing the waves. Knowing I will get wet and knowing it will take a while to dry off, but I won't be stuck on the beach forever, I can leave the beach when I want but also the beach is a fun place to be. 

In my analogy, the beach is 'going out somewhere', sea and wave are the incoming information and emotions. If using this analogy the best thing that has helped me is to talk to those around me to tell them how I feel about 'the beach' and to help them recognise the signs of a big wave coming in, recognise when I've had too much and to help me find a way to 'dry off'.

I really hope my analogy makes sense. I suppose what I am saying is you can't stop the tide but it's not your fault. You will grow to understand and spot the things that trigger you and can then choose when and how much exposure to that you have.

To put this into real context: I love going to my local cafe, the people are lovely and I love it there. But I recognise that when they are really busy, the staff are stressed and there is lots of noise I can become overwhelmed by a 'wave' of emotions. So I can manage this by try to go there when it's quieter, telling them about my autism, using headphones to block out some of the noise, not going there when I am already overwhelmed and listening to my wife when she suggests it might be time to go.

Anyway, I really really hope that this makes some sort of sense, I don't normally write my analogies down.