Emotional/psychological attachment to objects/belongings

I was fortunate to have a Mum who sewed and taught me. She made most of my clothes when I was younger. Yes girls did needlework when I was at school. We did applique and crochet and not a lot else. My son did 'textiles' but not sure much sewing.

I have those feelings but I try to keep it in check. For me it's empathy that I feel for everything. I have to be careful in charity shops because I want to rescue everything and worry about where it will end up (especially if it doesn't sell, will it go to landfill?) I actually care about some things more than I care about people and I've realised that's not how mainstream society feels so I don't express it. I wouldn't even say it's a sentimental thing, like I don't have to have had a history with something to feel empathy for it and want to take care of it. It's not as strong as objectphilia though, like the person that married the Eiffel Tower, which is associated with synesthesia (But I'm not sure if I experience synesthesia.too. How are you meant to know if your experience of things isn't normal or average, apart from trying to gauge how other people feel). 

Snowman said:

this is exactly what I was trying to describe with the clothes shopping as a child experience and not wanting to reject items as it would hurt their feelings.

This reminds me of a technique used in Japan when it comes time to throw old or damaged clothes in the bin.

They say "thank you for your service" and bow to the item before throwing it out - a very nice and respectful touch. I have to say I started doing this now.

I do the same with classic cars, I feel sorry for them and can see how they once would have looked. I’m definitely a Bagpuss and love watching The Repair Shop, all the items have a history and mean a lot to the owner. I have a tote bag I use for shopping, only a supermarket one,  I came home one night and my wife had packed it with things for her sister to take home to Devon, my wife saw my face and that I was getting anxious. I still have the bag and now keep it in my car.

Snowman said:

this is exactly what I was trying to describe with the clothes shopping as a child experience and not wanting to reject items as it would hurt their feelings.

I suspect we both share this 'oddity' then.

I knew I'd read somewhere on this thread someone feeling similar to me, but couldn't find it.

Thanks for coming back about it.

Fascinating stuff.

(My second post has a more up-to-date link to a paper on the subject).

this is exactly what I was trying to describe with the clothes shopping as a child experience and not wanting to reject items as it would hurt their feelings. obviously I knew they were not sentient beings :) but it's a feeling that happened. no logic. I'm not 100% sure this isn't still here in a way. I've bought both a car and a bike in the last couple of years that I knew were not up to scratch but felt some kind of sympathy for them, like they're underdogs. it's hard to describe. interesting link!

Homebird said:

I am grateful I was taught to sew and repair as I often use these skills.

I'm assuming that was stopped at some point.

When I was at school it was only taught to girls (sigh).

I wonder when needlework lessons were stopped (if they were) and whether they might be brought back in again considering that the culture of re-use of clothes is changing.

I repair my clothes too and was a bit thrown that younger members of my family never mend anything.

It's part of the throwaway culture and a part that could be redressed.

Object personification in autism:

https://discovery.ucl.ac.uk/id/eprint/10053878/1/Personification%20in%20autism_final%20accepted.pdf

https://post.news/@/user/2INMYmrZ14NPXnxtFKzJddsat18

I don't feel quite so weird now that I talk to my belongings

I haven’t read it but I believe some autistic people bond with objects because other people are too much to fathom, you don’t have to maintain a friendship with an object yet it’s full of memories, an object ask nothing of you and never judges or belittles you. Some objects or collections have a nice texture or a colour that stimulates the mind. I get much more out of being with things I’ve collected than ever being with people.

I just Googled feeling that inanimate objects are alive, having feelings, as this is something I experience.

I found this article. 

I haven't read it myself as I'm just about to go out but will read later:

https://adultswithautism.org.uk/autism-feeling-sympathy-for-inanimate-objects/

It's dated 2015, so possibly there is now more up-to-date research.

Twitch said:

Do you make lists? I do it all the time. I suspect that might be another ASD trait

Yep.  I have a list that is divided into sections for each day of the week, so similar to an itinerary, and lists all the tasks needed to be done each day for me and my husband (he ignores his).

I update it regularly.

I have other 'to do' lists for longer term tasks and food and other requirements lists.

My saying is 'if it's not on the list it doesn't exist'.

Twitch said:

I do have a slightly obsessive passion for collecting...wait for it...moon gazing hare ornaments.

I have one of those in the garden.

In case you are interested in showing us a photo, here's a thread I made about collections:

https://community.autism.org.uk/f/adults-on-the-autistic-spectrum/30518/show-your-collection/302526#302526

Hi Debbie,

I'm definitely not a hoarder because I can't stand clutter, but I do have a slightly obsessive passion for collecting...wait for it...moon gazing hare ornaments. Yeah, I know, random. I saw one in a shop window years ago and had to have it. I named him Hartley after the hare in the 70s/80s TV program 'Pipkins'. Now Hartley has 27 brothers and sisters, all of them with names. I hadn't made the connection between ASD and collections until I did the test, but it sort of makes sense now. Do you make lists? I do it all the time. I suspect that might be another ASD trait.

I have a lot of things with sentimental value. I have clothes and accessories with memories of who gave them to me.

I have a box of photos going back to my grandparents parents generation. Although I never knew my great grandparents I have heard many stories of that generation. I enjoy looking at old photos from my past too.

My parents were children during the war so things tended to be mended. I am grateful I was taught to sew and repair as I often use these skills. I recycle some clothes reusing them for repairs or cloths. I also recycle things I have finished with if I can find another use including furniture sometimes.

I am currently saving cardboard tubes as I have found planting sweet peas in them makes them easy to transplant.

There are so many things that can be reused but due to space sometimes I have the difficult decision to make as to what to keep. 

....oh I do know...or in my case, ensuring I have an identical duplicate item (or 3) to replace the "thing" I already have.  In terms of tech....I like to become an expert in one "model" rather than be an enthusiastic (and poorer) novice on newer models.  It works for me.

Thank you.

Makes sense ...

sight* sorry

I hadn't realised that (I think you are saying) autistic people are more likely to be hoarders than others.

The root cause of the hoarding (well more like collecting without sensible limits) for autists seems routed in the attachment centre of our minds. We struggle to create social attachments but can make attachments to inanimate objects, especially if they have significance to us.

If you found a record made you feel happy during a sad time in life then you would probably develop an attachment to the physical record, maybe the record player and maybe other records of that era.

If you found a stuffed toy made you feel good when you had no friends as a child then you get a bit of that same buzz when you get another.

Etc

We, as autitst, seem to be wired a bit differently for the attachment mechanisms so this is what leads so many of us to struggle with limits on this - it is like taking away out attachments and connection with happiness.

Well, that is my understanding of it.

I do the same with the bottles on holiday :) same thing with people, out of site out of mind. I get really upset about people moving / taking my stuff though. The place where I do my work and have everything else is under lock and key with only myself accessing it.

then accidentally corrupted or lost when a hard drive crashes or the "google / apple cloud" account ran out of space and the phone dies :)

same.

what's annoying is a lot of this change appears to be forced on us to some degree by making life more difficult without, say a smartphone, etc. "oh you need to use our app for this or that". Oh ok. "oh and our app needs a compatible phone". Oh ok. "which means getting a new device every few years as we don't support these old ones". We're only just getting started with this. What do they do with all these "old" phones when they go for recycling? Do they actually reuse any of the parts? It's not even like when you could unsolder and reuse chips, these are systems on a chip with ball grid array solder pads making replacement of or removal of parts virtually impossible.