Published on 12, July, 2020
Hiya,
I wanted to take a moment to share something that's been on my mind lately, hoping to connect with others who might have similar experiences. I (20M) have autism, while my girlfriend (18F) does not. We have a wonderful relationship, but there's one aspect that has been a bit challenging for me to navigate.
Recently, my girlfriend has been coming home after working out at the gym and getting naked in front of me, expecting us to engage in intimate activities. Now, let me be clear: I appreciate her desire and attraction towards me, and I genuinely love her. However, I've found that sex tends to be overwhelming for me in terms of sensory input.
Do any of yous experience this or if it's just me. I'm not being ungrateful towards my girlfriend, nor am I trying to diminish the importance of intimacy in our relationship. Instead, I'm seeking understanding and connection with others who might have found themselves in similar situations.
It's crucial to communicate openly and honestly with our partners about our needs, boundaries, and unique sensory experiences. While my girlfriend is aware of my autism, I don't think she fully understands the sensory challenges I face during intimate moments. Explaining this to her is something I'm working on, but it can be difficult to put into words.
TL;DR: I (20M) have autism, and my girlfriend (18F) doesn't. I find sex overwhelming due to sensory overload. Wondering if others had similar experiences and looking for advice on how to navigate this aspect of relationships.
Hey there, did you explain this to her in details?. I think NTs can't really understand how overwhelming sensory input can be. Try to explain it in details not only about sex, about sounds, lights, food, textures or anything that matters to you. Try your best to be as elaborate as detailed as possible so she could start to understand and relate to your experience.
If you wish to change the situation it might be good to be aware of what sensations exactly are overwhelming you, as smells, textures, eye contact or whatever that could be... so you could learn what you might enjoy or what's a no no for you. I think that the best way could be experimenting alone or with her as slowly as possible so you have time to be aware of all what bothers/not bothers you. Once you start discovering your preferable way or things that bother you, make sure that you explain it as detailed as possible directly to her so you could arrange adjustments.
Good luck for you there!