Noise rant!!!

Anguished Sibling, you don't know me, and it is very inconsiderate of you to be so sarcastic. I have never broken the law, keep to the rules that society sets, and wish others would do the same. In my experience it is often 'neurotypical' extroverts who are the most inconsiderate, but in any case we are all individuals. People with AS can be very considerate and compassionate people, some can be rude and inconsiderate, but this is no more likely (and probably less likely!) than in the neurotypical population.

It has nothing to do with having the last word.

You are free to ignore or not post, just because I replied doesn't force you into responding again it has nothing to do with what I am capable or incapable of.

I agree, let's not post to one another any more as it clearly cannot go anywhere.

I hope OP, that you are not put off continuing on your thread by any derailment that has happened.

Intenseworld,

It seems that you are incapable of allowing me to withdraw from this forum. I have said FOUR times now that I am more than happy to leave you all to it. If you would like to continue to spar with me and to keep this up then I am up for it. I know that you want to have the last word.

I would have thought that your time would be better spent dishing out this helpful and compassionate advice you talk about, not trying to get one up on me.

I have already, in my own mind, apportioned blame and believe me, it does not all fall on the psychiatrist.

Now, let this be an end of this. You have well and truly made your point. Any further comments to me will be evidence that you are flogging a dead donkey.

As I have said...just you merrily carry on.

If you wrongly attribute your brother's behaviour to his ASC then of course people will question this.  This doesn't mean that people will be upset at you talking about what your brother is supposed to have done, it's wrongly attributing it to Asperger's, especially in the style you did so, that people won't take to.

You said yourself that he has "other issues", which again, you didn't want to discuss.  I repeat, Asperger's is not a condition that makes someone violent.  Individuals still have their own personality and may have other co-morbid conditions that do account for the violence.  You admitted your brother had suffered for 20 years at the hands of an incompetent psychiatrist, coupled with his "other issues" don't you think you should start apportioning blame correctly?

Coming on here and trying to rile people up will never get you any support.

Intense world,

My parents were not able to escape from my brother. They could only seek refuge with my fiancé and I temporarily. If I were to elaborate on what he has done to us some on this forum would start squealing that they were being "unsettled" and "upset".

As I have already said and I say again, I am more than happy to leave you all to it. Whatever "it" is.

Just you merrily carry on.

Anguished Sibling said:

I'm so very sorry Intenseworld...it's just that his/her earplugs were not having the desired effect and his ears were sore due to sticking his fingers in them. I'm not sure if the Council would come out and thicken the walls...maybe they would. I wasn't sure either how long the neighbours cough would continue.

i thought the best solution by far would be for Hope to escape from all noise. Why continue living in a society that won't accommodate you 24/7???

The "solutions" you offered were ridiculously unrealistic and therefore even I could summise that they were intended sarcastically.  We don't have any reasonable choice but to live in this society.

I may be a lowly neurotypical but I show a lot more consideration and compassion than my Aspie brother. My 71 year old mother was in a state of abject fear yesterday due to him.

No-one has said neurotypicals are lowly.  There are times we discuss our frustration at the lack of understanding of neurotypicals but this could be said by anyone with any disability or any reason to be different.  You keep blaming your brother but you have not explained once what it is that he has done.  Until you do so, we cannot offer advice.  I thought you said your parents moved far away to escape your brother?

Aspergers/autism does not equal sainthood.

No-one has said that it does.  Your point?

You don't have to panic. This is a cosy forum for ASD people to be comforted. I thought it would be enlightening for you all to hear an opinion from outside this narrow worldview. 

I will now leave you all to it. Keep up the good work!

We don't have a narrow world view and no-one's "panicking".  Don't you think we are up to our necks daily in neurotypicals' world views?  Why do you feel we need enlightening?  Sarcasm isn't enlightening, it's boring.

So far, you haven't done much to convince me you are a genuine member seeking support.  No doubt if your brother is as bad as you purport you will have been negatively affected emotionally, but that doesn't give you the right to take it out on others.

I'm so very sorry Intenseworld...it's just that his/her earplugs were not having the desired effect and his ears were sore due to sticking his fingers in them. I'm not sure if the Council would come out and thicken the walls...maybe they would. I wasn't sure either how long the neighbours cough would continue.

i thought the best solution by far would be for Hope to escape from all noise. Why continue living in a society that won't accommodate you 24/7???

I may be a lowly neurotypical but I show a lot more consideration and compassion than my Aspie brother. My 71 year old mother was in a state of abject fear yesterday due to him. 

Aspergers/autism does not equal sainthood.

You don't have to panic. This is a cosy forum for ASD people to be comforted. I thought it would be enlightening for you all to hear an opinion from outside this narrow worldview. 

I will now leave you all to it. Keep up the good work!

Here is one: http://www.ocfoundation.org/eo_aspergers.aspx

"Since common features of AD include anxiety, repetitive behavior, and fixed habits, it is apparent that this disorder can mimic OCD (Yaryura-Tobias, Stevens, & Neziroglu,1998). Research studies in the psychology literature have focused on distinguishing between the restricted, repetitive, and stereotypic behavior associated with AD as compared to the compulsions found in OCD (Baron-Cohen, 1989; McDougle, Kresch, Goodman, Naylor, Volkmar, Cohen, & Price, 1995). In general, AD is typically characterized by a more severe impairment in social interactions (e.g., poor social reciprocity, poor peer relationships, and poor verbal and non-verbal skills). In addition, individuals with AD tend to have a more restricted pattern of interests and activities than those individuals with OCD. For example, a child with OCD may be obsessed and fearful of contamination and germs, whereas, a child with AD has a positive interest in a particular area. The next section will focus on some of the important differences between AD and OCD that can assist one in further differentiating between the two disorders."

It's not the original source that I saw it, but it's in a variety of places if you Google.

CAMHS wanted to assess my eldest daughter for OCD due to her OCD hand-washing (until they were red raw) after they failed to diagnose her Asperger's.  If you look on the NAS website it says that OCD is commonly co-morbid with ASC but I think it needs more investigation as the reasons for the obsessive/repetitive behaviour may be different.

Having said that, the OCD brain differs from the NT brain as well, it would be interesting to see if there are related differences between someone without ASC that has OCD and someone with ASC that has OCD or OCD-like behaviours.

IntenseWorld said:

I think it's probably widespread to have OCD with Asperger's.  From what I've read though, Simon Baron-Cohen claims that OCD behaviour in Asperger's is different to ordinary OCD.

Interesting. Do you have a link or anything with more information please? OCD (and depression) was my original diagnosis.

Anguished Sibling, after your introduction about being a victim of your brother's behaviour and the support you got on the forum despite this and your apparent remorse, I am disappointed that you felt it necessary to post in such a sarcastic way.

You will find that whilst autistic people are often very bothered by the sound of others, they are also far more worried about their impact on other people than most neurotypicals.

Yes, we are aware that our reactions may seem odd to others, and this contributes to our anxieties about surviving in a society which fails to make accommodations for us 24/7.

If you cannot offer sensible and compassionate advice to people it would be better if you don't post.

You could try life on a deserted island in the middle of an ocean somewhere.

There are uninhabited planets in the universe that support life. 

I'm confident that there are places in this universe of ours where you could escape noise.

Has it occurred to you that there may be aspects of your behaviour that drive other people up the wall?

I have heard that castles have thick walls.

I think it's probably widespread to have OCD with Asperger's.  From what I've read though, Simon Baron-Cohen claims that OCD behaviour in Asperger's is different to ordinary OCD.  I don't think you could claim that safely for all cases though as there are frequently co-morbid conditions with AS.

I find other peoples' sniffs revolting even.  I can't bear if people smell (I will dry heave if I cannot exit the area) and hearing people crunching food or anything like that is horrid.

I wonder how common this type of OCD is in Aspergers? If someone is coughing near me, I get really anxious. It makes me think of germs and  I want to get away. If I am on a train and someone is coughing a lot, I move carriages, but on a bus I feel stuck and it is harder. If I am really anxious I will have to get off the bus. This OCD has cost me work in the past because I will walk out of a room if someone is coughing. The noise itself, even if the person is not in the same room as me, makes me nervous.

Have you tried the silicon putty earplugs, or those ones that are bendy and fit to your ear canal?

I know you shouldn't have to resort to any ear protection, the walls made by the council are cheap and unfit for purpose.  Our house is an ex-LA house and it has extremely thin walls too.  I have been hearing our neighbour coughing this morning which even though didn't affect anything like sleep still really annoyed me.

I too have a bit of OCD and a couple of days ago I was in a cafe and a workman walked past with a really chesty, bubbly cough that made me feel sick and it made me feel that my food and drink were contaminated, even though he wasn't coughing in my direction.

It's so awful having noisy neighbours and thin walls.  I cannot bear having other peoples' lives in my life it's like an unwanted intrusion.  I do sympathise.