Published on 12, July, 2020
I've come to the conclusion that, no matter how hard I try to make something of myself in this world or no matter how hard I try to lead a simple and normal life, I will always fail. The system is designed against us and to keep us from any sense of belonging in this world, so I just don't care anymore.
I keep applying for jobs and attending interviews, but I keep failing them. I keep being told about "opportunities" for career blah blah blah etc, but I honest think it is all a lie to keep us running around in circles and to drive us insane. I'll never be able to get a job I'll be happy with because the system is designed to keep me from having any level of satisfaction in my life.
There is no chance for the autistic, we are un desirables, and because I am both autistic and gay I will be more of an undesirable than most people. I just don't think there is any point in trying to do anything anymore. Applying for work, seeking opportunities, attempting to find any sort of place in this world, there is just no point anymore.
I give up.
I hear the word "opportunity" so much that it has lost all meaning. People keep telling me that I could do this or do that, but none ever tell me how or even point me in the right direction. I'm beginning to think that people are just repeating the same nonsense others have told them without actually knowing what they are really saying.
There is no path for me. The only certain solution is death. I just hate myself for not being able to go through with it.
You really do sound low! I'm sorry it is proving so hard to forge onwards. I'm no use with helplines and whatnot....I hope someone will remind you of the folk who might help you.
I wish you improving fortune.