Published on 12, July, 2020
People talk about having "gut" instincts or feelings, about people, situations, choices.
I rarely get these but instead consciously work through all the different aspects to reach a conclusion. This affects me when choosing food to eat or off a menu, to the extent that I avoid making a decision and go without (unless social niceties necessitate otherwise - stress point).
I am very wary of new people and need 5 or 6 longish meetings before I can form an opinion. Studies say that for instance in a job interview the interviewer makes a decision within a minute or so.
I will mull over purchases of clothes, shoes, house decorations for a long time, deciding if I need them, can I justify spending the money, is there something more suitable, is it the best colour, texture etc.
More expensive or more technical things, I spend months researching and struggling to decide as I worry that I haven't got sufficient information to make a solid decision.
Overall, I find decision making incredibly stressful. If I am rushed I will ruminate for days after, about the "what if".
I have searched the archives and see no-one mentioning this, so could this be an aspect of my autism, or just my personality?
If it is an autistic traits has anyone got any pointers for reducing the stress?
My neurotypical wife is very much like you, though having children speeded up her decision making process considerably, while I, a diagnosed autistic, tend to make decisions - especially trivial ones like what to eat in a restaurant - quite quickly. The number of times I have said, "It's only food" to my wife after her lengthy mulling over of menus! So, in my experience, it would appear to be a quirk of personality, not an intrinsic part of being autistic.