Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
I tried to add a follow up post to one I had already made around this issue but couldn't figure it out so apologies
My partner's continued low libido due to taking medication is absolutely destroying me
I'm finding it so hard to cope, this is causing messed up sleeping, stimming by punching my head and really making my relationship with my partner so difficult.
We have been lucky to get away to some nice places recently and I would have thought the change of scenery, nice hotel rooms, fancy clothes etc would have being a catalyst for intimacy but I'm left feeling destroyed after them because nothing happens and I feel even worse because I allowed myself to hope of something happening and this dashing of hope is one of the worst things
I allow myself the possibility of intimacy, even fantasize about it but when it doesn't happen it destroys me
I do appreciate its not my partner's fault and I struggle to not take it personally, but it still leaves me devastated that I can't even turn my partner on, it tanks my self esteem and makes me feel disgusting.
After every rejection I feel like my heart's being ripped out.
It even got to the stage where I was ready to give up, just to stop trying because what's the point??? The damage to me mentally because of constant rejection is piling up.
It even got to the stage I was planning on not watching my partner get dressed to avoid the possibility of being turned on
I feel this is a pretty ed up thing to do and goes against how I normally behave but I'm torturing myself by keeping trying , am I meant to just pretend I have no drive either??
I feel sick , get moody , struggle to sleep after every rejection.
The only saving grace is me and my partner communicate about things pretty good, but conversations around sex are becoming 'im getting sick of having this conversation" but I feel as it not been resolved of course we are going to have this conversation over and over again.
I love my partner to the moon and back , I truly do but I'm at a loss here, I don't want to lose them over a intimacy issue that's not really there fault.
I discussed with my partner about speaking with their doctor around their medication and that went down like a lead balloon, I get my partner's condition is their priority and I'm not asking them to sacrifice their health for the sake of intimacy, I'm asking that the issues that are being caused by the medication are highlighted to the GP and see if there is there is any thing that could be done differently, to me that seems like a reasonable request but my partner's reaction to me suggests otherwise?
However I can't see that happening, so I'm left in limbo.
This is months and months of near constant rejection, yes we have had spells that have been better but they never last and then I'm back to feeling hopeless and hurt again.
I have no one to turn to, constant communication about this to my partner is going to be seen as pressure and I feel could possibly damage our relationship long term
I don't see a path forward, I'm totally at a loss and I would appreciate all your
Thanks
Hello everyone - I'm glad to see so much discussion but I wanted to remind you all to be kind and respectful to each other
Thanks,
SarahMod
I agree with HP35 here. The point of this community is to discuss matters related to autism that would benefit all of us. This discussion isn't anywhere around autism nor beneficial to us. It's about an individual who is relying on this forum to solve personal relationship difficulties that aren't connected to autism but to depression. We really aren't qualified nor experienced to inspire or advice on such matters. What we have experience with is autistim and we are here to exchange inspiration on how to deal with it. Advices as "request your depressed partner to chemically raise their libido to satisfy you" aren't just traumatizing to us, but possibly harmful to an individual who isn't even in this forum with us, whom we don't know if autistic or not and to a relationship that isn't suffering because of autism-related issue.
100% its not about autism at all given that most autistic people dont even get a partner what so ever and im amazed that people get diagnosed autistic yet have so much vivid social life and relationships while i was left isolated my entire life stuck in my parents with no one at all and no relations and i never got any help or diagnosis lol its wild how this works
nicely put, and your right.i also do find it funny when people come into the nas forum and ask us advice on things like how to make friends and so on lol its like asking a blind person how to see.
I'm so sorry that you were left isolated Caelus. You are here in this forum with us and I hope that you feel less isolated here. I understand that your experience might be harder than other autistic people but it doesn't mean that they aren't going through difficulties and don't require support. What we are here to do is to support each other, inspire each other and be less isolated. We aren't here to express our anger towards genders, man/woman hierarchy nor have fights about matters that aren't at all connected to what benefit most of the members. I really hope that discussions like this would be limited, decreased or disappeare. We aren't relationship counselors. We shouldn't be put in such positions anymore where we fight each other rather than help each other feel less isolated. I truly hope that the forum would emphasize the importance of talking about autism-related discussions and only that.