Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, My son (age 17 +10 months) has just this last week received an autism diagnosis. He refuses to discuss it with us. He only agreed to go through with the diagnostic process to prove us wrong and shut us up about it once and for all. We received a 17 page report full of links to helpful websites, but really no practical help at all. I feel very much that it's a case of "here is the diagnosis, have a nice life". Where do we go from here? He's on the threshold of adulthood and no way of coping with adult life. He's already struggling in 6th form due to his poor executive function.
From the post title I opened it expecting to find another post about someone being diagnosed in their 60s or 70s. I appreciate it may seem late at nearly 18 but your son has his whole adult life ahead of him.
It seems that he is in the denial stage of his autistic discovery journey. There's a useful article here about common reactions post diagnosis. That won't last forever, although he will likely need time and space to try and process the diagnosis at his own pace.
https://aucademy.co.uk/2022/01/20/six-common-reactions-during-autistic-discovery/
He may be able to get support or adjustments at 6th form or in any future educational or employment settings. However in general autistic adults are expected to advocate for themselves and work out what reasonable adjustments to ask for. That's something you'll be able to support him with at the appropriate time.
I suspect currently he does not want anyone to know and it's important that he knows he has control over that process, who to tell and when.