Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, My son (age 17 +10 months) has just this last week received an autism diagnosis. He refuses to discuss it with us. He only agreed to go through with the diagnostic process to prove us wrong and shut us up about it once and for all. We received a 17 page report full of links to helpful websites, but really no practical help at all. I feel very much that it's a case of "here is the diagnosis, have a nice life". Where do we go from here? He's on the threshold of adulthood and no way of coping with adult life. He's already struggling in 6th form due to his poor executive function.
Parr for the course, I'm afraid. No there's no help on offer post-diagnosis.
Before we sound all too dome and gloom though, there is quite a lot your son can do for himself - for instance own and celebrate his diagnosis. He could talk to us. We'd help.
But he ain't in that space yet. I kinda get that. I have spoken with young autistic people who think that without a label they would have had a normal life. They wouldn't, of course. They are, like it or not, Autistic.
Work on the a acceptance issue first. Once he gets, yes it is true, but knows that absolutely does not mean he is either broken nor defective, he might start looking in the right place for validation and help
We totally want to get him to that place of acceptance, but have no idea how to go about it. Any advice welcomed!
Sadly, only the individual can choose to accept it ultimately.
But you could try focusing on the positives of autism. Think about his positive qualities, skills and aptitudes that are autistic ones and slowly, gently encourage him to see that you and others value these things about him.