Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, My son (age 17 +10 months) has just this last week received an autism diagnosis. He refuses to discuss it with us. He only agreed to go through with the diagnostic process to prove us wrong and shut us up about it once and for all. We received a 17 page report full of links to helpful websites, but really no practical help at all. I feel very much that it's a case of "here is the diagnosis, have a nice life". Where do we go from here? He's on the threshold of adulthood and no way of coping with adult life. He's already struggling in 6th form due to his poor executive function.
Unfortunately, the situation you have described is all too common. It's been the experience of many members here that after receiving a formal diagnosis, they are provided with links to sites like this.
I know there are members here that are far more knowledgeable than me, and more clued up about the kind of help and support that may be available for your son, or you (his family) regarding practical stuff. I'm assuming your son's 6th Form is aware of his diagnosis?
Yes, we have let them know, but it's half term we've not had a reply.
Your son obviously looks upon his diagnosis as an unwelcome, externally applied label. Before he can find 'workarounds', and they do exist, in order for him to function at his best in the rather autism-hostile society we live in, he really has to find the desire to acknowledge his autistic nature. All that is heard in general are the negatives concerning autism, but there are positives. Many autistics are creative people in both arts and sciences (science is both analytical and creative, mere analysis does not come up with General Relativity, nor Evolution by Natural selection). It might be worth pointing out to him that many of the greatest people of the past showed distinct autistic traits, people such as: Michelangelo, Isaac Newton, Mozart, Charles Darwin, Picasso and Albert Einstein.
I have found that my autism-generated ability to hyper-focus on a subject and eye for detail have been of great benefit to me in my work in scientific research.