Published on 12, July, 2020
Been on the waiting list for diagnosis for a while now and still processing a lot of my life.
I approached my mother and told her how I had always felt different and told her that I had finally worked out why I’m different. The autistic bomb wasn’t well received, I was told,”autistic people don’t talk and stare at the wall all day.” Since then I approached my GP and got referred, I asked my mother for old school reports, they couldn’t be found, my English Books were supplied to show how I’m totally normal. I started to read the first one today, my childhood was unusual, I am the eldest of 3 and my mother was often ‘sectioned,” I often had to deal with everyday life. The picture shows my wardrobe, my safe place, the picture on the wall is, “Home Sweet Home.” My father did his best but I think he was autistic, he just worked and couldn’t deal with home life, my pillow shows Pound signs across it and me being beaten for being different or unruly . My bedroom door didn’t have a door handle, it just had a bolt across it. The extracts are from my first year in Secondary School, the teacher asked for a poem that described me. The poem is by Lewis Carroll. Another page in my English book is me writing my Last Will and Testament, my teacher gave me a red tick, I’m still processing that.
I have an autistic friend who is wondering about diagnosis but was abused in childhood. They were telling me they worried autism would be cancelled out by their 'unusual' childhood. I happened to be seeing my autism specialist that week so asked my specialist if their fears were true. The specialist said it's definitely possible to diagnose autism where there's been abuse or unusual childhood however it's harder so they would need to involve more professionals other than the adult autism team to be sure they make the correct diagnosis. Parental input is also not mandatory, they can get evidence from friends who know you or people who knew you when you were younger.
So I take it from that you have nothing to lose by going for diagnosis. If diagnosis will help you definitely pursue it!
As a side note - did you ever have speech therapy or any input from medial professionals as a child? I managed to get my medical records through the speech therapy department I had as a child. My school books couldn't be found either and they didn't need them for assessment.