Having 20 people over today - help!!!

I'll start by saying please excuse the typos as I'm writing this on my phone. 

I got a diagnosis a little while back of ASD at the age of 46 anf I don't cope well with groups of people.

It's my partner's 50th birthday bbq today and we've got 20 people coming. 9 people staying the night and I'm freaking out. I could just about manage 20 people for a couple of hours with the aid of alcohol and a massive shutdown afterwards. I told my oartner thst I was stressed and he really doesn't understand why. 

His mum and sister and nephews are arriving at midday. After 20 mins of talking to his mum I want to poke my own eyes out and start scresming. All of these blooming NTs invading my home.

Still, I've got to suck it up as it's what my partner wants to fo for his 50th and he's all excited. 

I'm ashamed to say that I actually bought a gram of cocaine in order to stay on it for hours on end today as I'm the hostess and doing the food and bbq. 

Out of the 20 people coming there are only 6 people who I feel comfortable with and like. 

My partner has a bbq like this every year and I always freak out and dpend the next dsy getting drunk and a week decompressing and recovering. 

It's not good is it? 

Parents
  • Hello BMF

    I'm sorry. I don't understand.

    Why are you doing this to yourself To please your partner . Shouldn't you both do something together , just you and your partner? where it's quiet and comfortable.

    If your partner had made an effort to understand your condition or even consider your needs , why would he torture you in this way ?

    You don't have to suck anything up, I simply wouldn't have turned up. It's not just the trauma of the moment it's the continued suffering this will cause later and further to this point because he knows you'll tolerate this there will be more inflictions upon you later and you'll be made to feel bad for not harming yourself emotionally

    And Cocaine !! this is appalling . I feel very sad to read this . This is so dangerous . Not one of those people care the slightest about you , not one .

    I really hope things are not as bad and you some how survive this horror but there is so much going on here and so much emotional harm .

    This is very sad indeed. I'm glad I'm single and no one wants me. I'm free. Fox

    'Marriage is like a Lobotomy. It turns already insane people into idiots' - I said this , It's MINE and belongs to ME

Reply
  • Hello BMF

    I'm sorry. I don't understand.

    Why are you doing this to yourself To please your partner . Shouldn't you both do something together , just you and your partner? where it's quiet and comfortable.

    If your partner had made an effort to understand your condition or even consider your needs , why would he torture you in this way ?

    You don't have to suck anything up, I simply wouldn't have turned up. It's not just the trauma of the moment it's the continued suffering this will cause later and further to this point because he knows you'll tolerate this there will be more inflictions upon you later and you'll be made to feel bad for not harming yourself emotionally

    And Cocaine !! this is appalling . I feel very sad to read this . This is so dangerous . Not one of those people care the slightest about you , not one .

    I really hope things are not as bad and you some how survive this horror but there is so much going on here and so much emotional harm .

    This is very sad indeed. I'm glad I'm single and no one wants me. I'm free. Fox

    'Marriage is like a Lobotomy. It turns already insane people into idiots' - I said this , It's MINE and belongs to ME

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