Disclosing Autism.

Hi, I also find it hard to know whom to tell... I’ve not told many people and I have had very mixed reactions. From my closest friends, whom I told first, I mostly got the following reaction: ‘oh I’m also autistic or I am awaiting assessment’ - I just hadn’t known they were also neurodivergent- and the other close friends also reacted very positively. I’ve also had friends react with curiosity as they have wondered if they could be autistic and wanted to better understand my experience. My mum was initially puzzled (as was I) when autism was mentioned but she has been incredibly supportive and we suspect she is also on spectrum. Those are the good reactions.

My dad got mad and said it was an excuse and i was ruining my life by accepting my autistic identity. Saying how my autistic traits were in fact ‘normal’ that he had also had to teach himself to socialise and script conversations etc. I suspect he might also be on the spectrum (he has very strong special interests, and lots of other traits too).

Then I’ve had the ‘oh everyone is a little autistic reaction’. Which is very unhelpful though it doesn’t come from an unkind place. 

or disbelief: but you can’t possibly be autistic... also very unhelpful 

then the ‘oh I’m so sorry reaction’ with a tone that suggests i just told them I had terminal stage cancer. 

I’m considering telling 1 or 2 people at my new lab. Mainly because I want to increase understanding of autism because it’s been talked about in very negative ways in an academic setting. And I find it hard to not tell and hide it. But sometimes that is for the best too. What I do find helps is to prepare the ground by over weeks just explaining individual traits eg. « I will work from home this afternoon, I’m sensitive to noise and focus better in my room ».  Or ‘don’t worry when I look this way it doesn’t mean I’m upset , it’s my neutral facial expression and I’m perfectly fine’ (people often think i am unhappy or upset based on my facial expression when I am in fact i’m ok‘ I find that explaining things as and when needed is a good strategy and then either not tell them at all or when you do tell them then they have already some pieces of the puzzle

Hi, I also find it hard to know whom to tell... I’ve not told many people and I have had very mixed reactions. From my closest friends, whom I told first, I mostly got the following reaction: ‘oh I’m also autistic or I am awaiting assessment’ - I just hadn’t known they were also neurodivergent- and the other close friends also reacted very positively. I’ve also had friends react with curiosity as they have wondered if they could be autistic and wanted to better understand my experience. My mum was initially puzzled (as was I) when autism was mentioned but she has been incredibly supportive and we suspect she is also on spectrum. Those are the good reactions.

My dad got mad and said it was an excuse and i was ruining my life by accepting my autistic identity. Saying how my autistic traits were in fact ‘normal’ that he had also had to teach himself to socialise and script conversations etc. I suspect he might also be on the spectrum (he has very strong special interests, and lots of other traits too).

Then I’ve had the ‘oh everyone is a little autistic reaction’. Which is very unhelpful though it doesn’t come from an unkind place. 

or disbelief: but you can’t possibly be autistic... also very unhelpful 

then the ‘oh I’m so sorry reaction’ with a tone that suggests i just told them I had terminal stage cancer. 

I’m considering telling 1 or 2 people at my new lab. Mainly because I want to increase understanding of autism because it’s been talked about in very negative ways in an academic setting. And I find it hard to not tell and hide it. But sometimes that is for the best too. What I do find helps is to prepare the ground by over weeks just explaining individual traits eg. « I will work from home this afternoon, I’m sensitive to noise and focus better in my room ».  Or ‘don’t worry when I look this way it doesn’t mean I’m upset , it’s my neutral facial expression and I’m perfectly fine’ (people often think i am unhappy or upset based on my facial expression when I am in fact i’m ok‘ I find that explaining things as and when needed is a good strategy and then either not tell them at all or when you do tell them then they have already some pieces of the puzzle