Published on 12, July, 2020
I don't come across as autistic.
But I am, and would never change it.
When dealing with organisations/companies in regards to making a complaint, or in any other capacity, I find that once I have told them I am autistic, I often find that they treat me even worse.
Sadly there is still so much discrimination out there.
Sometimes I regret telling them.
Anyone else ever found this?
I don’t know yet whether or not I’m on the sprectrum. Very possible I would say.
But the night before I went out with someone for the first time, I told her that I could possibly be on the spectrum. Lots of laughs…just conversation. Oh her too! Ok…..Well boy was she assertive. After things didn’t go exactly how she wanted them to, SHE PLACED MY SQUARELY ON THE SPECTRUM! And in not a very nice way. Very hurtful.
BTW, I mentioned she said she was autistic. I went through the AQ test with her as it only takes a few minutes. She scored 19. So what would she know about it?
For me, I hover around the mid to high 30’s. Never below 33. I think 42 the first time when I blazed through it. As well as the evidence mounting here. And I’m still not convinced!️ Why do people want an autism label? Not that I’ll think any less of myself if I do nor others that do and I don’t. I mean I guess in this age of having to label everything and everybody, I guess some people need or want one?
All I know is I will NEVER leave myself that vulnerable with what amounted to a stranger ever again.
"Why do people want an autism label?" - I punish myself relentlessly when friends or family are annoyed at me and I am looking puzzled. When they say 'If you don't know why then...' before strutting off leaving me in pain, scared and depressed... If I am confirmed as Autistic then I hope the exchange is them annoyed, then they explain why they are annoyed, I understand and apologise as that was never my intention.... We enjoy the time from there and I am not exhausted for days after,