Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anyone else struggle with letting people down? Like as in you force yourself to do things you know you're not up to or well enough to do so as not to disappoint people or let them down.
For example, someone invites you to go somewhere with them and you know your not up to going but you go anyway so as not to disappoint or let them down. Particulary if its someone thats nice to you cos then you feel guilty
Anyway I am learning to say no to things, slowly. Just wondered if anyone else has similar experiences
I think it's people pleasing isn't it?
I'm the same. You know you can't do it. You know it's going to put so much strain on you and affect you in a negative way after the event.
Normally it's burnout for me after.
Saying no can be hard especially if it's with someone you like who's nice as pie.
My sister wanted to go in to town last year to see a movie and then go shopping and I didn't want to but I said yes anyway and it wrecked me.
I excused myself to the bathroom so many times, throwing up from the anxiety.
When I got back home I had shutdown and meltdowns.
Saying no is hard.
The answer is usually yes but you know you're going to pay big time for it later.
I always intend to say no but "Yes" comes out of my mouth before I can stop myself.
People pleasing. Serious problem. Serious risk to your well-being.
Virtual hugs it sounds like you need them.
I struggle with that. I heard a good tip for this - in the moment try saying "Can I get back to you about it? I need to check a few things before I can decide/commit to that". Or not even giving a reason just "I'll get back to you about it" or "I'll let you know later". Then you buy yourself some time to process what commiting to something would cost you in terms of energy and sensory experience before deciding if it's worth doing for you.
Youve summed that up so well, its exactly how I feel. Thank you I feel comforted