Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello! Thank you in advance for reading, just to let you know I’m 36 female.
I’m feeling a bit lost and finding it difficult to process things. This week I had my autism assessment. I’m already diagnosed with ADHD but since being medicated for that the last 3 years I’ve felt like I may be on the spectrum too. I’ve also been diagnosed with BPD but recently found that I no longer meet the criteria.
The thing is my therapist is also my assessor, as he helps with both ADHD and ASD. The 1st assessment had a 3 hour conversation with me and my mum and it brought up a lot of things that I struggled with that started to make more sense, for example changing from junior school to senior school and how play turned into socialising, he said that my mum also shows signs of autism. The 2nd assessment was weird, there was a few activities to do and I really struggled with some and refused to make up a story with 5 random objects, It was like my mind was blank and I felt all this pressure so I just said no. He said I made good eye contact and I explained that if I don’t try to focus then I can’t hear what you are saying because my mind will wander and I’ll get distracted and it’s polite to look at someone when they talk to you. I also forgot my meds that day so I had to concentrate harder. So it all seems like mixed feedback and I can’t work out what way it will go.
anyway now I have to wait 3-4 weeks for the outcome which I accepted at the time, that was 2 days ago and I’m going out of my mind already, I got sent home from work again because I’m struggling to cope. I tried talking to colleagues but they don’t seem to understand or they brush things off. Work tried to get me to call a councillor but apparently they can’t help me because I already have a therapist. I texted my therapist but hasn’t looked at my text yet that was hours ago. My girlfriend isn’t in the right frame of mind to support me and I feel like a giant weight on her these last weeks with this stress. So here I am typing this out.
I guess what I want to know is how did you guys cope with waiting for an answer? Is there any advice you can give me? I just want to move forward and talk about it instead of pushing it all down and getting stuck in a hobby again because I need to acknowledge it so that when I’m at work I can put my mask back on!thank you
I hate waiting. I hate not answered questions and uncertainties. I understand what you are going through and I have no good idea how to help!. I usually get obsessed with the uncertainty or the open question until I find an answer.
What about adding something exciting to you to your life. Something that will keep you busy as planning something like a small trip somewhere. Maybe joining a new class?? Some if them are online for free, they could keep your mind busy in a good way.. maybe spend the time reading more and more about autism, not sure if this would make the obsession any less but still it might help you survive it .. or maybe writing all the thoughts down??.. that could release some of them I guess.. I hope some of those things could help!