Published on 12, July, 2020
Few things that delayed my self-diagnousis as someone on the spectrum because they defy the stereotype. First, I hate routine because I have such inconsistency and mood changes. One day I'd like to talk and chat and the other I'd like to stay in my room alone. I can't imagine a life where everyday is the same. I have different moods and i can't just stick to working hours 9to17. Somedays I like to have very slow morning or work on Sunday and sleep on Monday.. can't eat the same food everyday but I do have bunch of recipes that I tend to repeat, maybe just because it's easier and than cooking something new, but sometimes I do.
Second is that I like new experiences. Traveling, new food, new places in the city and so on when I have the mood for it. Even if the experience might intimidat NTs.
Third is that I can be friendly if I'm well recharged and rested. I can be social if I'm very well rested and recharged (alone for few days). Smile, chit chat (never a small talk tho). I can tolerate lights and sounds after good sleep..
Can anyone relate to any of this?. Is this normal among autistic people?. Most of what I read online talks about repetitive behaviours, sticking to routine and being closed to new experiences..
Some of the "stereotypes" have been formed by severe misunderstanding.
Autistics thrive in a stable, grounded, environment where we're not being flung into chaos, forced to smash-cut transitions, surprised or constantly navigating things in need of repair. But because NT society is loosely grounded on surface values rather than fundamental ones, it is their (NT) experience of reality which has shaped perception of stereotypes. This shaping has to do with how an individual within the the Freudian/Lacanian Social model is formed, and how that impacts them.
Because the "NeuroTypical" model involves a feeling of sameness one can't easily escape without years of psychoanalysis (shaped by a sort of social 'encoding' like a computer code), there is a default joy of natural oddities, things out of organised order, little surprises and such. Thus, misidentifying of the Nature of Autistic Being where one cannot even fathom the possibility of desiring a predictable environment, because for the NT, it's already far too predictable. So, what becomes assumed is the need for implemented routines rather than grounded values and principles, a fundamental order rather than chaos. But this is a 'band-aid' rather than a viable solution and thus, the NT continues to be confused.
The state of being you're describing - well rested, interested in new things, occasionally social to a point, would be a state of thriving. Much can be navigated and life can be lived when at this state of being. Having agency and a sense of control over ones life, having time to heal and regroup - these are often the thing robbed or rejected from autistics and they literally make a world of difference. When the anti-psychiatry movement started, this is part of what Laing and Guattari spoke of trying to afford those who were in a perpetual cycle of breaking down. The movement was hacked, but it had quite good beginnings.
JuniperFromGallifrey said:constantly navigating things in need of repair
I have never seen this articulated as a particular problem for us, but it so is! I get so stressed if my trike breaks down, even just a puncture which are not rare. And my cat has been ill all year which is very stressful not just for the obvious reasons. I find even general maintenance difficult, I like it when a job gets done once and stays done! It bothers me a lot when it has to be done again and again maybe just because things get dirty over time. Will have to think more on this.
yes life is often like whack-a-mole!