Published on 12, July, 2020
From what I’ve read about her on Wikipedia, Greta Thunberg seems like a very nice person and just the sort of person I’d get on well with. And she’s got Asperger’s syndrome, so that would make it more likely that we can relate to each other well.
I’ve sent her an e-mail at least 3 times, and tried to get in touch with her on Facebook, and she’s not replied. How do I find out for sure that she’s actually read my e-mail, and it’s not just been not passed on to her by her media people or something?
And if it’s not too late to ask now, what should I say in an e-mail to her to make my e-mail stand out from all these other e-mails that she might be getting, so she takes mine seriously and does actually want to write back?
Mark
Unfortunately your approaches to Greta may be seen as stalking.
What VLD said.Honestly most people are friends because they interact in real life, online anything that seems forced is scary and puts folks off interacting with eachother. So friendships formed online tend to have formed naturally, ie it starts with people just coincidentally talking about stuff together on a semi regular basis because they have the same interest not because one actively set a social target on and persued the other.
Why does it work like that? Why can't I be friends with anyone I want to be friends with, whether I've met them before or not?
Why should Greta Thunberg or whoever miss out on a great friendship with possibly the nicest bloke in the whole world, just because she doesn't meet me "naturally", and has to make a bit more effort to get to know me? Why should people who meet the nicest people in the world by happening to work at the same place or whatever have an unfair advantage in terms of making friends?
I'm open to the possibility of a friendship with anyone in the whole world. I don't understand why most other people wouldn't be the same.
Too much to unpack so I'll just focus on the last section.
Mark said:Why would someone not want to give me their time and make a little bit of effort to get to know me (or anyone, I don't want to make this just about me)
Because people lead busy lives, getting to know a total stranger from scratch probably isn't top of their priority list.
Mark said:just because it takes a little bit more effort to sit down and write an e-mail rather than just say a casual "Hi, how are you?" when they see an acquaintance at work or wherever? The acquaintance at work isn't entitled to their time either.
Exactly because that interaction is happening naturally, sharing a work environment necessitates a degree of civility if not legitimate interest. besides we should all know by now when a NT (who isn't your good friend already) asks "how are you?" they never want the real answer it's just a polite throw away line to acknowlege the presence of the other person. Also that civil recognition that smoothes out the work environment isn't really their time, even when interaction happens naturally like that because it's likely perfunctory not genuine so it isn't a sign they want to to socialise with their coworker outside of work.
Mark said:I'm just honest
Ditto so don't take this the wrong way but after reading a lot of what you said here's the final advice: Just learn to take no for an answer and don't stalk anyone.
π Bees π (they/them) Autism resources in bio #stoptheshock #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs said:Mark said: Why does it work like that? Why can't I be friends with anyone I want to be friends with, whether I've met them before or not? Because forcing someone to be your friend when they don't mutually feel the click with you is creepy if you don't respect their lack of interest and right not to associate with anyone they don't want to.
Mark said: Why does it work like that? Why can't I be friends with anyone I want to be friends with, whether I've met them before or not?
Because forcing someone to be your friend when they don't mutually feel the click with you is creepy if you don't respect their lack of interest and right not to associate with anyone they don't want to.
Well I wouldn't force them to; obviously friendship is 2 way. Why wouldn't they treat everybody equally though?
π Bees π (they/them) Autism resources in bio #stoptheshock #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs said:Mark said: Why should Greta Thunberg or whoever miss out on a great friendship with possibly the nicest bloke in the whole world, We only have your word for that, none of us know that you are nice, and saying you are in such terms sounds pretty arrogant, if you spoke to Greta like that I can see you probably made her feel uncomfortable.
Mark said: Why should Greta Thunberg or whoever miss out on a great friendship with possibly the nicest bloke in the whole world,
We only have your word for that, none of us know that you are nice, and saying you are in such terms sounds pretty arrogant, if you spoke to Greta like that I can see you probably made her feel uncomfortable.
I can confirm that I am possibly the nicest bloke in the whole world, and I'm not arrogant, I'm just honest. But why should I miss out on a friendship with the nicest girl in the world just because I don't meet her "naturally"?
π Bees π (they/them) Autism resources in bio #stoptheshock #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs said:Mark said: just because she doesn't meet me "naturally", and has to make a bit more effort to get to know me? This is just being autistically blunt because it's a hard truth: you are not entitled to her time or energy. You are giving off bad vibes actually, and I can read that even though I'm autistic. If you are serious about being a nice guy and not just "nice guy" then you need to work on respecting other people's boundaries, managing your expectations, and how you present yourself.
Mark said: just because she doesn't meet me "naturally", and has to make a bit more effort to get to know me?
This is just being autistically blunt because it's a hard truth: you are not entitled to her time or energy. You are giving off bad vibes actually, and I can read that even though I'm autistic. If you are serious about being a nice guy and not just "nice guy" then you need to work on respecting other people's boundaries, managing your expectations, and how you present yourself.
Why would someone not want to give me their time and make a little bit of effort to get to know me (or anyone, I don't want to make this just about me) just because it takes a little bit more effort to sit down and write an e-mail rather than just say a casual "Hi, how are you?" when they see an acquaintance at work or wherever? The acquaintance at work isn't entitled to their time either.