Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi! I’m a 19 year old autistic adult who’s almost completed her first year of university. Since turning 19 I’ve had the typical experience of feeling like things ‘shifted’ in my mind, just generally starting to see the world differently which I know is common as you reach young adulthood, and have seen this discussed a lot. However something I don’t see spoken about is how this relates to autistic young adults. As a teenager I had meltdowns every few weeks that involved screaming/crying/self-injurious behaviour/treating others poorly/going non-verbal etc etc. However since coming to university, this has only happened twice and even then they were much less intense as my previous meltdowns. This change was sudden, especially considering that just weeks before actually starting university I had 4 public meltdowns like this across 2 weeks at a summer programme for my now uni. This change makes me worry a lot about the validity of my autism, even though I’ve been diagnosed for almost 2 years now. I was wondering if anyone knows if my experience is common, and expected as one transitions from an autistic teenager to an autistic adult?
Hi there,
No, don't let that worry you about the validity of your autism. The impacts are different at different stages of life and will constantly change.
I'm 58. When I was a toddler I had no meltdowns, but I had intense shutdowns; locked up frozen couldn't move, couldn't speak. When I was an older child it depended on the trigger. Shut downs still happened. There were flight type meltdowns and a lot of rocking going on under intense fear. Under other stressors teary type meltdowns. As an adult these have been very rare, probably because I have more control over my environment and with whom and when I want to interact.
However in medical situations they've moved from flight to explosion of the type I NEVER had as a child. I think it's because I'm trapped in these situations, struggling more to cope with the sensory stuff in my body, there is now pressure for me to interact with doctors (describe physical sensation which I can't do, make medical decisions, which I can't do etc) which I didn't have as a child.
Triggers can both lessen and intensify at different stages of life as can the expression of distress.
Then there are hormonal impacts too. Even for neurotypical people this can impact on emotional state and emotional regulation. If you are female the menopause can heighten or dull emotion anyway and heighten sensory stressors, for instance.
It may simply be that you have found better mechanisms for coping or your environment is more conducive to keeping meltdown at bay just now.
I agree with Ausomely Autistic, the best book to read is Dr Beardon. Keeping these horrid meltdowns/shutdowns at bay depends on how your environment is managed not how you are managed. Changes in the experience will happen, but a lot of it can be avoided partly by you managing your environment to suit you and partly by enlisting the help and understanding of others to avoid the triggers. Meltdowns are not inevitable when we live in the right conditions.
Also a plan for when they do happen... What do you want the people close to you to do if they occur; just leave you alone a while and understand you aren't really lashing out at them? Get you anything that calms you? Probably helpful to brief them.
Dawn said:I agree with Ausomely Autistic, the best book to read is Dr Beardon. Keeping these horrid meltdowns/shutdowns at bay depends on how your environment is managed not how you are managed
I really like Luke Beardon, his book Avoiding Anxiety in Autistic Adults is brilliant! I have highlighted several sections that are relevant to me. What did you think of the book?