Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi! I’m a 19 year old autistic adult who’s almost completed her first year of university. Since turning 19 I’ve had the typical experience of feeling like things ‘shifted’ in my mind, just generally starting to see the world differently which I know is common as you reach young adulthood, and have seen this discussed a lot. However something I don’t see spoken about is how this relates to autistic young adults. As a teenager I had meltdowns every few weeks that involved screaming/crying/self-injurious behaviour/treating others poorly/going non-verbal etc etc. However since coming to university, this has only happened twice and even then they were much less intense as my previous meltdowns. This change was sudden, especially considering that just weeks before actually starting university I had 4 public meltdowns like this across 2 weeks at a summer programme for my now uni. This change makes me worry a lot about the validity of my autism, even though I’ve been diagnosed for almost 2 years now. I was wondering if anyone knows if my experience is common, and expected as one transitions from an autistic teenager to an autistic adult?
Dawn said:I agree with Ausomely Autistic, the best book to read is Dr Beardon. Keeping these horrid meltdowns/shutdowns at bay depends on how your environment is managed not how you are managed
I really like Luke Beardon, his book Avoiding Anxiety in Autistic Adults is brilliant! I have highlighted several sections that are relevant to me. What did you think of the book?
Hi there,
No, don't let that worry you about the validity of your autism. The impacts are different at different stages of life and will constantly change.
I'm 58. When I was a toddler I had no meltdowns, but I had intense shutdowns; locked up frozen couldn't move, couldn't speak. When I was an older child it depended on the trigger. Shut downs still happened. There were flight type meltdowns and a lot of rocking going on under intense fear. Under other stressors teary type meltdowns. As an adult these have been very rare, probably because I have more control over my environment and with whom and when I want to interact.
However in medical situations they've moved from flight to explosion of the type I NEVER had as a child. I think it's because I'm trapped in these situations, struggling more to cope with the sensory stuff in my body, there is now pressure for me to interact with doctors (describe physical sensation which I can't do, make medical decisions, which I can't do etc) which I didn't have as a child.
Triggers can both lessen and intensify at different stages of life as can the expression of distress.
Then there are hormonal impacts too. Even for neurotypical people this can impact on emotional state and emotional regulation. If you are female the menopause can heighten or dull emotion anyway and heighten sensory stressors, for instance.
It may simply be that you have found better mechanisms for coping or your environment is more conducive to keeping meltdown at bay just now.
I agree with Ausomely Autistic, the best book to read is Dr Beardon. Keeping these horrid meltdowns/shutdowns at bay depends on how your environment is managed not how you are managed. Changes in the experience will happen, but a lot of it can be avoided partly by you managing your environment to suit you and partly by enlisting the help and understanding of others to avoid the triggers. Meltdowns are not inevitable when we live in the right conditions.
Also a plan for when they do happen... What do you want the people close to you to do if they occur; just leave you alone a while and understand you aren't really lashing out at them? Get you anything that calms you? Probably helpful to brief them.
think of it this way.... you said it stopped or lessened when you came out of university, a school based environment that forces you to be around others.... you see, you just removed yourself from the cause of the problem, that is all.when i was in high school i was bat *** crazy, the place drove me insane, at home im calm, i stayed home after i left high school and did nothing and this isolation normalised myself. but the issue is and always was being forced to be around massive crowds of other people. if you again insert yourself into a large group of people that are a bit unrowdy and obnoxious like school kids always are, you will find you have these meltdowns again. when left alone or in smaller less rowdy groups it should all be fine.
Mine have increased with age but then I'm under far more stress and pressure now than I was ten years ago when I was 12. Adulthood is difficult. There's no support out there. We've got to fend for ourselves and sadly the result is often meltdowns and burnout. The transition from teen to adult isn't smooth for many people, you're entering the real world and it's a scary place x.
They don't decrease with age, it just coincides a bit that way because with age usually comes experience on how to manage and cope with things more/better. That's what really reduces the meltdowns, the fact that you are learning to cope better generally.
Distress and meltdowns are not a part of being autistic, they are a result of being under excessive stress/or in an environment that doesn’t suit your autistic neurology.
You may find this golden equation from Luke Beardon useful- ‘Autism + Environment = Outcome.
So the likelihood is that you are currently in an environment that you have more control and autonomy over which has had a dramatically positive effect on your mental wellbeing! You are just a happier and better regulated autistic person. This by no means invalidates your autistic experience as distress is not inherent to being autistic. It is concerning if anyone has meltdowns regularly regardless of neurotype because no one should be experiencing such a high level of stress.