Published on 12, July, 2020
I have came out to 4 people in my life about my autism so far. I have considered all of them as caring empathetic people. 2 of them were very nice, offering to listen to me since it's a lot of things in mind and lot of feelings. The other two had a reaction that surprised me. One said nothing but "thank you for sharing" and right after that asked me for a favor. It felt like this big reveal of mine ment nothing to them. The other one asked me "is it officially diagnosed?" And didn't respond to my answer only a day after writing a message "do you want to hang out?". I'm sad because of these reactions and I honestly don't know how to interpret them.. it felt like they don't care or understand how huge of a deal this is for me.. did anyone have similar experiences?
I've only "come out" to two friends. First one said I they didn't think I'm autistic because I'm such a people person (shows you how good at masking I am after a lifetime of practice!) He has no clue how exhausting being social is for me and how much I prefer to be alone.
Second person said - well we're all a little bit autistic don't you think?
Im not sure if I will bother telling anyone else. For me it's enough to know why I am how I am. I'm self diagnosed. Maybe if I had an official diagnosis people would be more willing to accept.
The penny dropped for me at the grand old age of 61 when I saw the Chris Packham doc. I researched it deeply (of course I did!) and it was SO blindingly obvious that I cried with relief. ALL my friends bar one laughed and said they thought I knew I was and they loved me regardless which was wonderful. Unfortunately, one of my closest friends, a retired head mistress said I had no right telling people that I was autistic unless I had been offiocially diagnosed.
She then proceded to tell me all the strange things I had done and the strange reactions I had to different situations like I was doing it on purpose. I'm devastated as she is the one person I would have thought would understand.
friendoffelines said:I'm devastated as she is the one person I would have thought would understand.
You have my most sincere sympathy, because I know PRECISELY what you mean. It hurts and makes you feel a little more empty inside.